Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light

MOVING TIME

2010-10-19T06:24:00.000-07:00

Hey Gang, I had to start a new blog because for the longest time, I coulnd't remember my password for here. To top it off, my old email was hacked so I couldn't use that either. This morning I had a revelation. I thought I might have remembered a couple of possibilities for my password. VOILA I got in. So before I forget it again, I will tell you where to find now See you there. http://snowmomgg.blogspot.com

2009-09-06T08:33:00.000-07:00

I am starting to wonder if the fingerhold I have on reality is starting to slip a little. I have a wonderful friend. She gets herself worked up about a lot of things that she should probably let go. I know we all do that but she makes it an art form. It is fascinating to watch. One of the things that would send her over the edge was stores asking you for your information when all you want to do is buy a hammer or something else pretty insignifagant. It upset her that everyone insisted they have that information or they could not sell you anything. In the begining I thought she was making a mountain out of a mole hill but now I am starting to agree with her. I don't want to end up cutting myself off from society alltogether but sometimes I think the conspiracy nuts have a point. I am tired of having to give out my address, phone number, name, rank and serial number to buy a pack of gum. I am tired of seeing cameras everywhere. It seems when the government introduced the Privacy Act, our privacy went out the window. It kinda drives me crazy that I have no control over who has my information. I have no control over who takes my pictures. It used to be I could run to the grocery store in my sweats and not worry about anyone seeing me. Not anymore. Our local grocery store has pictures posted everywhere of shoplifters taken from their survelliance cameras. Since I don't steal that doesn't bother me.What bothers me is the pictures of the people in the backgroung. The people who were minding their own business just picking up forgotten items in order to make dinner. They now have their picture plastered everywhere too. You use the bank machine, they take your picture. You drive a car through an interesection, they take your picture, you enter a store, they take your picture. Never with your permission. Who knows what they do with those pictures or that information? I am now getting phone solicitors calling me on my cell phone. Where did they get the number? I thought the privacy act prohibitted companys from giving out that information. Since I know I didn't give them the number, where did they get it? Since the phone bil is in my husband's name, I can't call them to ask about a charge on the bill. They cite the privacy act but they can sell or give away my information? Something is seriously wrong with this picture. I know I am starting to sound a little paranoid but I am starting to feel that way. I now make up names and use phone numbers from when I was a kid when I am asked for that information. So if you get a phone call asking for "Jim Shoe" or something equally bizzarre. I appologize. It was me.

2009-08-11T07:31:00.000-07:00

It is official. The Legal system has completely lost it. I use the description "Legal" and not "Justice" for a reason. We do not have a justice system in this country. Despite what politicians and the legal community would like you to believe. The last straw for me came last week. A man (and I use that term loosely) kicked a 16 year old boy in the jaw. The boy had to have his mouth wired shut for 6 weeks. The brilliant legal mind in charge of sentencing this "person" decreed that the man should be given house arrest. Okay. Here is the insane part. The man may leave the home any time as long as he calls his parole officer to tell him he is leaving and he MUST TAKE HIS BABY SISTER WITH HIM WHEN HE GOES OUT. WTF?!?!?!? I may have this wrong but my understanding is this man may go anywhere within two kilometers of his house at any time as long as his 18 month old sister is with him. What kind of sentence is that? First it isn't even a sentence if he is free to come and go as he pleases. Second, where the hell is the child protection agency in all this? What kind of situation is this moron going to put his sister in? He can go and kick the shit out of someone but as long as his sister is there it is ok? The judge claims this will foster some sort of family responsibility in the man. From what I read, when the original assault took place, the pregnant mother stood by and watched the attack. Oh goody. That is just the type of family responsibility we as a society want. Where oh where did we go wrong? What has happened to our legal system? Where is the punishment for the attack? Where is the responsibility. Perhaps this man should have been taught to show society some responsibility. I am thoroughly disgusted with this. I have said it before and I will say it again. Maybe judges should be elected and not appointed. Maybe then they will have to have some sort of accountability to the society they are supposed to serve. At least someone in authority is questioning this. http://www.winnipegsun.com/news/manitoba/2009/08/09/10406286-sun.html

I Need A Vacation

2009-07-06T07:49:00.000-07:00

Help! I am trapped in a house with three 2 year olds all yelling "MINE". I am starting to think it would be easier to ref a UFC Fight. Or at least less dangerous. Note to self; Never get between two 2 year olds fighting over a bottle. You will end up with a black eye.

Baseball season is still going and going and going and going... when will it be gone? The boy is not happy. If his team wins their next game, they are going to the Provincials. He does not want to go to Provincials. He has missed so much work already for ball he doesn't want to miss anymore. Especially since they don't win a lot of games. What a shock it would be if they actually made it. The girl's original season has ended but she was picked up by a different team. Hopefully that will be over by the weekend. I am exhausted from spending my weekends running from one game to the next. Between two players and an ump, we were at 8 games this weekend. I really need a vacation.

The boy is trying to kill me from stress. A few weeks ago he arrived home in handcuffs. The story goes earlier in the week he had been playing ( a modern version of ) cops and robbers with his sister. He had been wearing his jacket and stuffed the toy gun in his pocket. He didn't wear his jacket again until the day it was raining. He left the house to go to the bank to cash his paycheck. On the way home, he stuck his hand in his pocket and realized something was in it. He pulled out this stupid gun. He shoved it back in his pocket and continued on his way. (This part of the story I got from the Police) Someone saw his pull the "gun" out and since he was wearing a track suit thought he was a gang member and had a gun. They called the police. Three cruisers and six police officers were called out. They pulled their guns on him and put cuffs on him. After they searched him they found his Blackberry and a lot of cash so they started yelling at him to tell them where the drugs were. He kept telling them there wasn't any. When the realized he was telling the truth they brought him home. The nice police officer held me up when my legs collapsed when they told me the story. I told them his Grandma had gotten him the phone and the money was from his paycheck. The other officer said they had already determined that. He was not charged with anything since he wasn't guilty of anything other than stupidity. Of course the whole neighborhood saw him brought home in the police car in handcuffs. They seemed surprised that the boy was not in their system. I am not sure if I should be happy or pissed off. Yes he was stupid to leave the house with a toy and yes it did look bad but assuming because he wears a track suit that he is a gang memeber kinda upsets me. Did I mention I need a vaction? A nice looonnnggg vacation.

I don't get it. I just don't

2009-06-23T06:51:00.000-07:00

I might be missing something important here but I am a little confused. In the mornings while I wait for all my munchkins to arrive, I watch one of those morning news/talk shows. They are building up the hype for the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver. Great. They have been profiling some of the athletes. I am starting to wonder though. All the profiles I have seen on the "Canadian" athletes are all the same. Not one of them were born in this country. Everyone of them has moved to this country in order to "represent" the country. I am a little confused. Do we not have enough talented home grown athletes here? Why are Canadian born athletes not being used? I must be missing some important part of the equation. For example the last profile I saw had the athlete being sworn in as a Canadian citizen. So this person has already been selected to represent us in the Olympics and yet they were not even a citizen yet? I just don't get it.

My viewing secret

2009-06-02T11:23:00.000-07:00

Yes, I admit it. I was one of the millions of people who tuned in to Jon and Kate Plus 8 last week. I have watched it on occasion. For the most part, I can't stand it. Kate comes off as a shrew and Jon, well let's just say he has a lot in common with a Mollusk. However, being a parent of mulitiples myself, sometimes I do find it interesting. Last week's episode was pretty much what I expected. She didn't tell him he was breathing too loud or any other nitpicking she usually does. Everything was goind along just fine until Kate was critizing the media for following her and her family around. I beleive she said something about following her to the store is not excitng and look over there, there is a family shopping, follow them. ( I am paraphrasing because I can't remember her exact words). I was a little stunned. She was annoyed because cameras follow her and her family?!?! Hello? Last time I checked, she was the one who originally floated the idea for a television show. The story I heard was she actively searched for some sort of agreement for a tv show about her family. Did she not realize that means cameras? I realize that it can be hard to be chased by the media but she invited it into her life. Does she not realize that without the cameras or more importantly, without the public interest in her life, she has no show? No show, no money? From what I have read about her, she is all about the money. It just seemed to me that she was biting the hand that feeds her. Maybe it is time they all stepped back and re evaluated. If cameras following her upset her, maybe it is time for her to stop allowing cameras into her home. Cancel the show. That is just the way I see it.

2009-05-05T08:57:00.000-07:00

I only time for a quick post. It is just an observation I had. On the weekend, I was driving out near the airport. Even though it is close, I don't seem to head that direction often. I did notice a slight change. I noticed that the Adult Video store that used to be there was now gone. The landscape seems to change so quickly. I don't know if the store was a vicitm of a bad economy, bad management,a bad location,or was just a bad idea. It just seemed strange to see something gone. The funny thing about it? The Adult Video store was replaced by..... wait for it..... a Vacuum store. That really does give new meaning to cleaning up the area,doesn't it.

Back again

2009-04-27T07:15:00.000-07:00

FFFTTTTTT!!! PHHHHWWWWWFFFFF! Yes, I have blown the dust off the blog and fired her up again. For so long I have thought of topics to post. Truth be told, they seem like good ideas in the middle of the night, but in the cold hard light of day I realized they all just sound like bitching and moaning. The last coupld of weeks though have sent me for a loop or two. I need to sort things out. I need to get over them and move on. Okay, I need a good kick in the ass, I need to put on the big girl panties, and I need to accept things as they are. I can't change them. That being said, I just cant' get over it yet. I thought maybe if I put it out there I would get the reality check I need or a pity party. Whichever. Bottom line. I am feeling like for the first time in my life, I am being hit with the truth of sexism. (Or at least my little girl is). I am having a hard time believing that I really have never had to face it but my daughter does. Shouldn't it work the opposite. I fought the battles as a child so my daughters don't have to? When I was growing up I was always told I could do or be anything I put my mind to. "There were no limits. I grew up believing that was just the way it is. Now I am learning that it is not so. For the past two years my little girl has played AA baseball. Yes BASEBALL not SOFTBALL. I get so sick of people telling me that she should be playing softball because she is a girl. She wants to play hard ball. Shouldn't that be enough? I thought so but I guess I am wrong, wrong, wrong. Last season was, for lack of a better word, interesting. The team she was on, won the Provincials for her age group. Hooray but her coach was not really thrilled with having a girl on his team. She was told things like " You are on my team because no one else wanted you" or " I got stuck with you because no one else would take you". These things did not impress me but I chalked it up to the fact that he was an asshole with his own issues to work out. She didn't get alot of playing time but she stuck it out anyway. This winter she was in baseball camp and had some private lessons from a big wig with the local ball association. She improved so much. Tryouts were a couple of weeks ago. Now, I love her to death but I am not blind. I know she is not AAA material. We all want her to be but facts are, she isn't. No biggie. TRyouts went very well. At least we thought they did. She got a call back. They wanted to take another look at her and some other players. Woo Hoo! On the night before the call back, we were at her brother's tryouts. As we were leaving, the big wig stopped the girl and told her how great she did at her tryouts. Keeping in mind she is the only girl in the area to tryout for ball. She was so encouraged by this! She went to the call back the next day, ready to kick some serious butt. The call back was her best day yet. She didn't make either the AAA or the AA team. I don't understand it. She has always played AA. She was not the worst player out there and why did Mr. BigWig tell her how great she was doing? We were disappointed and slightly confused why she did not make it. It happens, move on. I might have except for a few things that have happened since. I have heard a story, or a variation of the story from three people now. The story goes (depending on who tells it) that before tryouts even started, the Association had decieded that she would not be playing. The other story is they didn't want her playing for them because she was a girl and they don't want girls playing. I was stunned. Then I heard her coach from two years ago was really surprised at how much she had improved since he last saw her play. Hmmm, maybe they should have looked at that before they decieded to exclude her. I had sent an email to Mr. BigWig. During some of the training sessions he had mentioned to the girl that he wanted her to tryout for the girls National Team. If she is such a lousy player, why would he encourage her to try out at a National level unless he is some sort of Sadist. Anyway, I emailed him and asked him for the information. I told him she was disappointed that she didn't make the team and is now determined to make the National team to prove to the Association that she CAN play ball. I never heard back from him. He is normally very prompt with responses. It all makes me wonder what the hell is going on. I don't want to sound like one of those parents who can't accept that their child can't play well enough and I probably do but I can't help it. I feel like we are caught up in something but we arent' told what it is. It frustrates me to think it might all be because she is a girl who dares to want to play baseball. There is no rule that says girls can't play and after all, it is just a stupid fucking GAME!!! I don't know what to do or how to make my mind to move on. It has become my issue now. I need to work it out, but I am not quite sure how to.

2008-09-24T07:03:00.001-07:00

2008-09-24T06:45:00.000-07:00

AIN'T IT FUNNY HOW THINGS WORK?

2008-08-15T20:51:00.001-07:00

Who would have guessedd that my last two posts would collide a horrific way? Last week the "Christians who missed a few chapters of the Bible" (and I use the term Christians loosely) tried to protest at the funeral of Tim McLean. Sometimes I think people totally missed their lessons in basic human decency. This was a tragic, horrible death. Poor Tim's family was travelling through a hell on earth that no one should ever be subjected to and these morons judge that their hell isn't enough. They felt they needed to add to their pain. I cannot describe the disgust I felt upon hearing their plans. I was however, so proud of my city. Hundreds of people showed up to protect this family. People who had never met Tim. Decent people. From what I have heard within hours of these subhumans announcing their intentions, a Facebook group popped up denouncing this. The rally cry went out. Even the politicians picked it up. The border guards were told to turn back anyone they came across remotely related to this group. The media were up in arms. If you read between the lines, I felt even the local police force ( while they couldn't encourage people to come out and protect the family) were all for a large attendance at the funeral. Such a big deal was made out of this that the Spokesperson (again I use the term "person" loosely) for this group was quoted as saying they couldn't wait to get out of Canada. They were not welcome here and feared for their saftey. GOOD! GET OUT AND STAY OUT!

The end result was this hate group didn't even show up at the funeral, but hundreds of people did show up to protect this family from further pain. Once again I am so proud of my city!

I hope this hate group got the message and never set foot in my country again. Our local paper has printed numerous letters from Americans embarrassed that this group can even claim they are Americans. I hope most Americans know that we as a city know that they are an abberation and do not represent most good hearted Americans.

Canada Mourns

2008-08-03T21:29:00.000-07:00

The story still makes me a little queasy. Earlier this week there was tradgedy on our highways. Not far from my hometown, on a Greyhound bus a young man full of promise lost his life. Not an accident a horrible murder. Just like something out of a horror movie. It is stil unreal to me. Unfortunetly for the family of this young man, this horror is real. It is a horror they will not wake up from. Words cannot express how I feel. I wish I could reach out to this family. I do not know them, but I wish with all my being that I could ease their pain somehow. Funny how human nature is like that. I am not really sure what I am trying to say here. I guess I just need to get it out. I cannot write out all the details of this horrible murder. I can't even read the stories in the paper anymore. I am horrified at what one human being can do to another. I understand their is mental health issues here but still...

If you want to read the story yourself the details are .here. Be warned, it is a gruesome story. Pray for this family please

Turn on the air conditioning, my blood is boiling

2008-07-23T15:21:00.000-07:00

So another baseball season has come to an end for our family. I am happy to say the girl's team won the Provincial AA Mosquito banner this year. Now I may actually have time for a life and blogging. While I was frantically trying to catch up on all my neglected blog reading, I came across http://myventspace.blogspot.com/2008/07/people-to-flog.htmlthis gem It makes my blood boil to think that these people are free to spew their hatred and ignorance. Worse yet, they are allowed to procreate. Heaven help us all.

I appologize. I can't get hyperlink to work, so if you want to read this post, you are going to have to do some work.

IT AIN'T EASY BEING GREEN

2008-07-02T05:16:00.000-07:00

There has been some talk lately of Mr. Dion and his carbon tax. I just had to put my two cents in.

Mr. Dion, I don't care what you claim about your idea. You can dress it in a tutu and have it dance through the halls of Parliment. You can call it "revenue neutral" all you want. The rest of us know the truth. It comes from the Liberals and it has TAX in the name. It means we are going to get screwed. I am all for saving the planet. I just don't like doing it on the backs of the working poor. Face it, most of the working poor are already doing their part to save the planet. They take public transportation because they can't afford a car. They are not using their carbon credits to gas up their SUV to travel up to the cabin to enjoy nature. They can't afford a cabin or an SUV. The only wildlife they get to see is at the zoo. (That they took the bus to). They don't have big houses to heat and cool. They live in energy efficient housing (apartments). They buy their clothing at second hand stores. They can't afford designer clothing. I can't figure out too many more ways the working poor can reduce so the wealthier population can purchase the credits they need to sustain their lifestyle.

The biggest reason I can't support the carbon tax? I have a hard time, a REALLY hard time taking anything serious that comes from someone who reminds me so much of Kermit the Frog. Sorry Mr. Dion, it ain't easy being green.

HAPPY CANADA DAY, EH!

2008-07-01T12:57:00.001-07:00

WHAT IS GOING ON?

2008-06-05T11:58:00.000-07:00

What is the matter with the school system now? I just don't understand.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

2008-05-11T12:34:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day everyone.

I will be MIA again for a little while. I have made up my mind that it is way cheaper to paint my house rather than move. Who knew? The paint has been bought, the snow from last week has melted, so now I am trying to fit painting in around day care children and baseball. Maybe I will be done by Christmas. I will try to pop into other blogs. Take care.

Baseball season again.

2008-05-05T11:09:00.000-07:00

Yup, it is that time of year again. This year both the boy and the girl made the AA teams. That translates into baseball seven days a week for mom. Whoopee. I admit I was a little nervous about the girl's coach this year. I vividly remember him from a playoff game last year. He verbally abused the ump and another parent from the team almost was thrown out of the game. The coach was so abusive to the children (our team not his) and the ump that I was starting to get scared. When I found out he was to coach the girl I was a little nervous about letting her continue to play AA ball. So far so good though. He is pretty good to his own team. He works them hard, but is fair. I can't ask for more than that. Keep your fingers crossed for a good year. On the down side, we do have the same parent on our team this year that managed to make himself a parriah last year. He is not off to a good start this season either. So far he has irritated and insulted half the parents. We have only played one game. Oh boy.

I have not seen the boy's team play yet. Their first game is tonight. I did however get to see the last of the tryouts. I sat with a baseball mom from the boy's first year of ball. She is a great lady and I miss sitting with her at baseball. Her boy is very talented and usually makes the AAA team. As he did this year. As we were sitting there, I leaned over and quietly asked her if the lady sitting in the middle of the men far from any of the other mothers was the horrible mother we were on a team with three years ago. ( It has been a very enjoyable three years with out her). It was confirmed that was who it was. The lady behind us leaned over and said; "Why do you think we are all sitting over here?" Some things never change. I guess she is still pissing people off. Lucky for us (that's sarcasm people) she is on our team this year. The woman is a control freaked snob. In preparation for the season I have purchased the tshirt with my favorite saying on it. "MESS WITH ME AND YOU MESS WITH THE WHOLE TRAILER PARK" I plan on wearing it tonight and making sure I stand in front of her. Hee hee. I am such a bitch.

Thus concludes the baseball update.

Now cross your fingers for me. On Friday, I have an appointment with a different doctor. Maybe he will fix my knee. I think now I am at the point that I will not take no for an answer. Someone is going to fix my knee. End of story. I guess as a last resort I can start buying lottery tickets so I can afford to go across to the States and pay to get it done. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Separated at birth? Just asking.

2008-05-05T11:06:00.001-07:00

Don't get me wrong. I like Jason. I just find it distracting that he looks alot like Jar Jar.

Need I say more?

2008-04-16T07:20:00.000-07:00

Rant, Rant, Bitch, Bitch

2008-04-02T09:06:00.000-07:00

It's too early for a Fuck You! Friday post, so I just have to do a WTF Wednesday post instead. I was so pissed off, I couldn't wait until Friday. Buckle your seatbelts. Here it comes....

Back in December we refinanced everything became debt free and bought the loser cruiser. We also intended to buy out our current car. The lease is up in June, but June is a really bad financial month. So instead we bought it out in March... or so I thought.

We had been trying since December to get someone, anyone, to return our calls. What I wanted to know was how much it would cost to buy the remainder of the lease out and fully pay off the car. Between the husband and I we made 6 calls. None of them were returned. The only way we got a call returned was when the husband called the leasing company directly and told them that no one would call us back. We finally got a call in March. 3 months after we first tried to get a return call. We made the appointment to come in a purchase the car. Our appointment was for 6:30 in the evening. We arrived at 6:20. We were told it would be a couple of minutes. No problem since we were early. We didn't actually get to see the guy until 7:30. I was fuming. First he told us they had to put the car "into the system". Hello!!!! you have had 5 years to put it in the system. I am pretty sure I could have done it in 10 minutes. The truth of the matter was that they were having a "staffing issue" (emphasis and deduction is mine). The one salesman was beet red and kept storming out of the building. He was then followed by the guy we were supposed to be seeing. This went on for a hour. Hello! Deal with your fucking staffing problem on your time not mine. Did I mention we were the only non employees in the building at the time. Why the hell couldn't they have dealt with us first and then their staffing issue? By the time the guy decided to actually sell the fucking car, I was boiling mad. He was trying to be funny ( I guess). I was in no mood. I had made another appointment for 7:30 that night thinking we would be long gone by then. Leasing the car in the first place did not take as long as this did. I had to call and cancel my appointment.This did not make me a happy camper. I guess it has been a long time since I was in business and sales but it seems to me that if someone wants to purchase something from you, you should maybe, I don't know, let them give you money. I guess I don't understand the way of the world nowadays.

Once the salesman graced us with his presence and attention, I noted in the final papers that we were being charged a $350 administration fee. I didn't like it but sometimes you just have to bend over and take it up the ass.

The salesman then kept after us that we needed to change the insurance immediately! WE needed to take their name off as the owner of the vehicle. Well, if he had actually seen us when our appointment was instead of making us wait an hour, we could have done it that night. Thanks to him fucking around for a hour, it was too late that night to do it. I told the ass I would do it the next day. He kept bugging me about it. The day after, he phoned me at home and asked me if I had done it yet. I had, but I was tempted to tell him I would assign to it as much importance as he had to our customer needs. I didn't since I thought that would probably go over his head. He then told me he wanted it faxed to him ASAP. I told him he would have to wait since I was at home and did not have access to a fax machine and I wasn't about to purchase one just to make him happy. ( Think I was slightly bitchy by then?) We faxed the copy of the insurance to him to prove we had changed the ownership and stupidly thought that was that. This morning I got a call from our bank. It seems we were slightly overdrawn. This occured because STUPID FUCKING KIA TOOK THE CAR PAYMENT OUT OF THE BANK! The fucking car has been paid in full and they are still trying to take more money out of our account. I informed the bank manager what had happened. He looked at our account and saw the cheque that we used to pay for the car IN FULL was cashed last month. He said he would reverse the payment but could not reverse the service charge. I understood that but I do not understand why the hell I paid KIA $350 for administration when they didn't do fuck all. Now I have to go back to making 16 fucking calls to try and get my call returned to demand they return my payment money that they took and should not have and get them to ensure that they don't fuck it up again next month. I am so mad! Of course no one will return my calls. I should tell them (if I ever get to talk to someone) that I want my payment money back along with all service charges I have incurred from the bank and I want my $350 administration fee back too since I have to do the work for them. I know good luck with that but it just makes me so angry!!! I could spit nails!

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the car. The KIA has actually been a very good car. I however will never buy another one from them. Customer service is an oxymoron to them. Maybe it is because they are morons. Who knows.

Thus concludes my WTF WEDNESDAY rant. Thanks for tuning in.

Stolen Meme

2008-03-28T18:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, I confess. I have totally stolen this Meme from TG and AL. Forgive me and I will let you steal it from me.

Answer the questions below by taking your answer and typing it into Photobucket. Take any picture from the results and post.

Age on my next birthday

My favorite food

My favorite animal

My favorite place

My favorite object My favorite color

Where I was born. (okay I cheated on this one. It should be town where I was born, but I liked this answer better)

Town where I now live

Name of pets ..... and my killer looks about as scary as this one does.

Zodiac sign

Nickname

Person I miss right now

First job (Okay. Truth be told, I worked for the competition but I couldn't find a picture)

Current job

Grandma name and Bad habit (i have a filthy mouth as you all know)

Favorite drink

Looking forward to..

Winter Sucks!

2008-03-10T09:27:00.000-07:00

In sympathy for Al and LilDeb, I was sent this picture and thought I would share it all with you. I am sure this is how Al and LilDeb felt after this weekend. Let's all cross our fingers and hope Spring comes quick!

FUCK YOU ! FRIDAYS

2008-03-07T10:47:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time since I have done a Fuck You Friday post. This week just felt like it might be time to post again. So many things to flip off and so little time. Where to start?

Let's start with death. I am sick and tired of death. Since Christmas there have been five deaths. The oldest was 44, the youngest was 9. I think it is time that death took a loonnggg holiday. The sad thing about these deaths is that only two were caused by a disease. One was an accidental overdose, one has no obvious cause. The one that bothered me the most was the one that was caused by her own hand. While I had not seen her in a long time, the times I did see this woman she was always smiling and singing to herself. Her poor sister was the one who found her. This sort of ties into my next rant. Our mental health care. This poor woman had been struggling with her mental health. On the Friday before her death, she was admitted to the hospital. Her family and close friends were very concerned about her. They could see there was something wrong. The woman herself knew that too. She was hearing voices. On the Saturday, the hospital released her. On Sunday, her sister found her hung in the basement. Could not the medical personell see she was in trouble? The thing that bothers me is that this is not the first story like this I have heard of. My Grandparents sold their farm to a lovely family. The father of the family suffered with a mental illness. He, too was admitted to the hospital. He was released and shortly after, he killed himself. Two months before his daughter's wedding. It was horrible. I was however thankful that my Grandmother did not live to see that. She worried so much about this man. She knew of his struggles but could not help him. A friend of mine tried to admit herself into the hospital once. She felt she was a danger to herself. She sat in the Emergency ward for more than 6 hours. At that point, she gave up and went home. Thankfully, she was strong enough to get through. What if someone not as strong as her had been in that situation? If you went to the hospital and told them that you were going to hurt yourself and they ignored you for hours. Maybe you would think, " I guess I was right. No one cares. They won't help me. I guess I am worthless." Then maybe you would go home and kill yourself out of desperation and hopelessness. Our system is broken. It needs to be fixed somehow. The problem is that few people realize there is a problem. These types of situations are rarely reported. How many have happened like this and we don't know about? I wish I had the solution. I don't. I can just point out the problem and hope no one else falls through the cracks.

Now I will move onto yet another way society is going to hell and personal responsibility has crawled up in a ball and died. In our city recently there was a tragic death of a young boy. For the life of me I can't remember if he was 13 or 15. It doesn't matter. This boy and his 17 year old friend broke into a garage and stole an air gun. The younger boy was then accidentally shot in the eye and killed. His friend was scared and once alerting someone that an ambulance was needed, he took off. He didn't admit to any of this until days later. Here comes the part that really pisses me off. The parents of the 17 year old are saying that the garage owner should be held responsible for this young boy's death. Why? Well because he should have known that kids break into garages and shouldn't have left an air gun in his garage. HELLO?!?! I should be able to go on a month long vacation and leave both my front door and back door open and no one should go into my house. Perhaps the 17 year old son should have been taught that STEALING IS WRONG!!! Nope. Society now feels that personal responsiblity is antiquated and unneccessary in today's world. Every time I read this story it makes my blood boil. Never mind that the parents failed to teach their 17 year old right from wrong. Let's blame society as a whole. AAAARRRRGGGG!

Not that long ago, some scum mugged and beat up a man walking home from work. They left him in the street to die. A woman witnessed this and did the responsible thing and called 911 for help. Unfortunetly, before help arrived, the man was hit by a car and died. Did the scum arrested for this admit their responsiblity? Nope. First they blamed the driver of the car. Then (now this takes the cake) they blamed the woman who called 911. They said she should have come out and helped this man. Let's think about this. It is dark, the woman is alone and is witnessing a beating. The smart thing to do is exactly what she did. Yet she got blamed. Where did society get so fucked up?

I got this in an email. I think is sums it all up pretty good.

My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I > > would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was > > always around in my early years but less and less as time passed by. > > Today I read his obituary. Please join me in a moment of silence in > > remembrance, for Common Sense had served us all so well for so many > > generations. s Obituary Common Sense Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a Bandaid to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim.. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing

All together now... HAPPY FUCK YOU FRIDAY!

I AM BACK!

2008-03-01T07:10:00.001-08:00

I know, I know, I keep saying that. So much has been happening and so little time to blog. Where to start?

The daughter went almost an entire year without breaking a bone. The joke was since she changed schools she wasn't allowed to break any more bones. The girls have been at their new school for a year now. I am sorry I didn't move them four years ago. My daughters are both so much happier. We saw two friends this week. They both commented on how much healthier my girl looks. It is because she is not stressed anymore. Her headaches, stomach pains, meltdowns are all gone. However the broken bone thing came back this week. She fell off the monkey bars at school and chipped the bone in her foot. She has a cast from her toes to her knees. Did I mention she is miserable? She missed the big basketball tournament too. As a nice change, she was royally pissed that she couldn't go to school for two days. She actually WANTED to go to school. What a nice change.

We have been shopping around for middle schools. We had to make a decsion where to send them next year. It was a tough, stressful choice. My only rule was that they had to agree on a school. I was not taking two, same age, kids to two different schools. I may be crazy, but I am not insane. The only school they could agree on was the school their brother went to. I like the school. I love the teachers. The only problem is putting the girls back into the same group of children we finally got them away from. I spoke to the pricipal and explained the situation. She said they would try to keep them separated but couldn't promise anything. I understand that. I was okay with that. Until this week. I had to take the daughter (with the cast) to the school to pick out her band instrument this week. I was a little concerned when she showed a great interest in the tuba and the trumpet. Turns out she chose the clarinet. Whew. An instrument that fits in the backpack. Anyway, while we are waiting for our turn guess who walks in? All four of the kids I was concerned about. Including the child who threatned to bring a knife to school and use it on our daughter. The one the school refused to do anything about. My daughter got that panicked look on her face. I told her to ignore it. Now I am rethinking the choice of schools. I can feel my anxiety rising. I know I shouldn't worry about it and everything may turn out just fine. But I really do not want to go to the way it was. My girls are happy! I can't go back to the way things were.

On a happier note, my baby boy turned 15 this week. Yikes! No fair. I feel so old. I can feel the bones crack everytime I move and the hair is turning color too. Pretty soon, I will be stuck in my rocking chair, shaking my cane at those loud lousy kids running across the lawn. The boy had a pretty good birthday. The lousy kid ended up with almost $400. I am going to have to go to him for a loan. He is really excited that he can take drivers ed in September. His mother is finding it hard to muster up that much enthusiasm. I am a nervous driver to start with. Sitting beside a novice teenage driver will send me into convulsions.

School is a no go for me. I am still waiting for a course to be offered that I haven't already taken. I only need 5 more but it is getting harder to take the courses. They rarely offer the courses I need. How do they expect me to finnish if they don't offer what I need and I can't afford to move to full time day classes. I am taking a WEVAS course next month. Working Effectively with Violent and Aggressive States. I don't need it to graduate, but I need it to get a job. Go figure. At least I am taking it with a friend I have met through my other classes. She is a riot so I am looking forward to it. This friend is the one who went for a joy ride in a computer chair in one of my other courses. She was bored on her break so she convinced another girl to push her down the wheelchair ramp in the computer chair. When that got boring, she convinced this girl to get her car and a rope. The girl then towed my friend behind her car all around the parking lot. This girl kills me.

I guess that is it all in a nutshell. If anyone still reads it, I will try to pop around to your blogs soon. Take care

Nope, not dead yet

2008-01-30T04:29:00.000-08:00

I am not dead yet. Somedays you just have to keep telling yourself that. I am not quite sure how it happened, but somehow my schedule exploded. I am now lucky if I have 5 minutes to myself and the kids have found all of my good hiding places. Darn.

I have been crazy busy, but I did have time to make one observation. I have lived in this country for far too long. All week they were warning us there was going to be a huge blizzard. Get home fast, get supplies, hunker in. Okay. PFFFFTTTT. The snow we got didn't even cover the top of my shoe. There was some wind but that was it. What a disappointment. However it is frickin cold. Too bad for my kids, it is still 1 degree too warm to cancel the school buses. The girls have figured since they have to take a cab to school, if the buses are cancelled, they shouldn't have to go either. The buses are cancelled at -45C. The past two days it has been -44C. Boy are they pissed. Oh well, hope springs eternal.

My day is beginning now, so the blogging has to wait. I hope to get back to it quick. I will try to check in with y'all as soon as I can. I may just post and run, but know that I am thinking of you all. Take care and don't freeze.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2007-12-23T19:15:00.000-08:00

Messing With Santa's Head

- Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy." Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa"

- Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."

- Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.

- While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.

- Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.

- Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.

- Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.

- Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.

- Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."

2007-12-14T11:31:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmas+es, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's to o late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.

Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.

Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the c arpet.

Yours Always, MOM...!

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa!!!

THE BIG COUNTDOWN IS ON... Forgive me for not posting. It is almost Christmas and I haven't started baking or my cards. I should be ready by March at the latest. I will be back, just not too freqently. Have a great weekend

My dirty little secret

2007-12-05T21:54:00.001-08:00

Okay my lovlies it is confession time. At the risk of never ever hearing from Al again, I must confessed something. Yes, it is repulsive. It might scare you. It might even torture you. You might turn your back on me. I need to clear my conscience though. I hang my head in shame as I admit this. I like this stupid song. I always have. I understand I might be kicked out of heavy metal heavan.. Please forgive my musical sins.

Wannabe Video

Wannabe lyrics - Spice Girls lyrics

Spice Girls Music Videos

Music Video Codes by VideoCure

Some of the thoughts bouncing around in my head

2007-12-04T13:32:00.000-08:00

I must be getting old. I am at that stage in my life when I am reexamining the choices I have made. I made some I would love to go back and change. Some are irreversible, some involve taking a chance, and some are just not to be no matter how hard you try to change things.

I had a visitor today. It was someone I hadn't seen in almost 28 years. The choices I have made in my life, took us down different paths. Yet when we were together, it all clicked. I remember reading a story once. The main character lived on a reserve. In this culture, it was assumed you would get together with a certain someone from your childhood. If you moved away from this, it was a big scandal. Especially if you brought back a stranger. When I first read it I thought it was a little strange to know that young that you will be together. How can someone know from the age of 5 or 6 what should be? I got a glimpse of that today. It is the novelty, history, happiness, sadness, and passion and comfort all rolled into one. I am conflicted. Happy but conflicted. I wish I could turn back time and make a different choice. This friend pointed it out to me that I could have chosen a differnt path, but I didn't. If I could turn back time, you can bet I would do things differently.

Looks like I am going to pay for making the wrong decisions. When will I learn?

No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth

2007-12-03T07:32:00.000-08:00

My appologies faithful readers ( the two of you who are left) I have been very negelectful. Please forgive me.

Nothing overly exciting has been happening here. The girl did have a concussion. She has recovered nicely. The little girl who let the door go, felt so bad. She called twice that night to check on the girl. Then the next day, her mom called to check if all was okay. She told me if I needed anything to call her. What a sweet family. They were afraid we would be angry and not let the girls be friends anymore. If I knew her a little better, I would have told her that trips to the emergency room is nothing new to our family. That sounds bad if you don't know us. The boy's brain scan came back okay. Phew, no cancer but still no explaination as to what is causing his daily headaches.We have monitored his diet, checked his eyes, blood test, CT scans. We are trying meds now and will give it a month to see.

My course is over now. I wrote my exam..aced it. It sucked that I had to write my exam the day after my birthday.Can you guess what I did for my bday? Yup, studied. Do I know how to live it up or what? Final grade A+. Woo hoo! I am off til spring now. The courses they are offering now, I have already taken. I am going to look into taking my refresher CPR and the Working Effectivly with Violent and Aggressive States (WEVAS) course. I don't need it to complete my program but you do need it to get a job. Go figure.

A friend of mine has asked me if I will help her out for the Christmas season at their business. Yes, my lovlies, GG is going to bartend.Considering I have never been behind a bar before this could be entertaining. A martini is the thing James Bond drank right? Shaken not stirred? and what the hell is a blue lightning? I think I might be in over my head.

That is about all that is new here. I will try to post a little more often. Sorry gang.HOpe all is well in your world.

Now post a comment so I know you are all still alive!

Could Noah build his ark today?

2007-11-22T12:26:00.000-08:00

If Noah had lived in the United States today the story may have gone something like this:

And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark."

In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark. In fear and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the ark. "Remember," said the Lord, "you must complete the Ark and bring everything aboard in one year."

Exactly one year later, fierce storm clouds covered the earth and all the seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard weeping. "Noah!" He shouted. "Where is the Ark?"

"Lord, please forgive me," cried Noah. "I did my best, but there were big problems.

"First, I had to get a permit for construction, and your plans did not meet the building codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans. Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the Ark needed a sprinkler system and approved floatation devices. Then, my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission.

"Then, I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the U.S. Forest Service that I really needed the wood to save the owls. However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me take the 2 owls.

"The carpenters formed a union and went on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or hammer. Now, I have 16 carpenters on the Ark, but still no owls.

"When I started rounding up the other animals, an animal rights group sued me. They objected to me taking only two of each kind aboard. This suit is pending.

"Meanwhile, the EPA notified me that I could not complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the Universe.

"Then, the Army Corps of Engineers demanded a map of the proposed flood plain. I sent them a globe.

"Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not taking atheists aboard.

"The IRS has seized my assets, claiming that I'm building the Ark in preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes. I just got a notice from the state that I owe them some kind of user tax and failed to register the Ark as a 'recreational water craft'.

"And finally, the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further construction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, it's a religious event, and, therefore unconstitutional.

"I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another five or six years."

Noah waited. The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine, and the seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky.

Noah looked up hopefully. "You mean you're not going to destroy the earth, Lord?"

"No," He said sadly. "I don't have to. The government already has."

*recieved via email*

Bombers vs Roughriders

2007-11-18T15:50:00.000-08:00

WILL BEAT Yup, I called it! Woo Hoo it is official. The Grey Cup will be Winnipeg VS Saskatchewan! From here forward it shall be called "The Banjo Cup Bowl".

GO BOMBERS!!

2007-11-15T12:26:00.002-08:00

Warning!! This one is so bad it is funny. Don't say I didn't warn you. Psychic

I am not a believer in séances, but I went to one just to see what they are like. The psychic was doing his thing and grinning from ear to ear.

I assumed his merriment was due to the fact that he was fooling a gullible public and gave him a poke in the nose. You can probably guess the rest...

Wait for it - - - - - -

I was arrested for striking a happy medium...

Insomnia reduces me to a babbling idiot

2007-11-12T22:47:00.000-08:00

This is what happens when you have insomnia. You end up looking for really stupid things on YouTube. I must admit, this one had me rolling on the floor. I want these guys to come to my next party.

This video can be offensive so be warned. I will bet you any amount of money that these boys get beat up alot at school. However, all their videos make me laugh.

LEST WE FORGET

2007-11-11T04:38:00.000-08:00

It is the VETERAN , not the preacher,

Who has given us freedom of religion.

It is the VETERAN , not the reporter,

Who has given us freedom of the press.

It is the VETERAN , not the poet,

Who has given us freedom of speech.

It is the VETERAN , not the campus organizer,

Who has given us freedom to assemble.

It is the VETERAN , not the lawyer,

Who has given us the right to a fair trial.

It is the VETERAN , not the politician,

Who has given us the right to vote.

It is the VETERAN ,

Who salutes the Flag,

It is the veteran ,

Who serves under the Flag,

ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD, AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM.

We can be very proud of our young men and women in the service no matter where they serve.

God Bless them all!!!

Corner Gas.. World's Biggest....

2007-11-08T13:57:00.000-08:00

I love Corner Gas. It kills me. This clip is from my all time favorite episode. The Corner Gas website used to sell tshirts saying " World's Biggest Hoe". I am kicking myself I didn't buy one when I first saw them. Enjoy the clip.

2007-11-05T15:35:00.000-08:00

Okay gang, Cross your fingers... the boy is going for his brain scan in the morning. I hope he has one.. hee hee

Right now, I am waiting to hear from the hospital. My daughter got hit in the head by a door (I guess it wasn't big enough for her to see). She has a huge bump on her head, she is dizzy, feeling ill, and is a little more out of it than usual. I really hope they don't keep her overnight. However, it would make things easier for me. Spend the night at one hospital and take the tunnels to the other hospital for the boy's brain scan. Convient brain shopping all in one place. Woo Hoo! I will keep you posted.

2007-10-26T22:40:00.001-07:00

Well, here I am again. It looks like I won't be posting very much for the next little while. Things have gotten really out of hand here. To save time, I will just hit the highlights

Let's see, I have three papers to write for school. I have completed only one and I am starting to really panic about the other two. I don't have a clue how to even start them. I took my son to the doctor for his headaches and insomnia. He is now scheduled for a brain scan because the doctor can't find anything obviously wrong. No one has actually said the big "C" word, but it is in the back of my mind. I know I shouldn't borrow trouble, but he is my baby and I am worried sick. The doctor also informed me that I have signifigant hearing loss. I am waiting for a hearing test. We will have to wait and see where that leads to. At least now I have proof that I do not have selective hearing.

Since switching schools, my daughter has been much happier. The complete meltdowns she was having had completely disappeared. Until this week. She had one huge one. I am not even sure what brought it on. It just brings back all the horrible feelings of last year. I cannot survive that again. The positive part of it is, it isn't school related this time. I think I have narrowed it down to one boy I look after. He used to be her best friend. Now when he is around, he seems to push her over the edge. He doesn't do it intentionally, it just happens. And not every time either. Ahh the mysteries of the mind of a child.

I can't really put a finger on the one thing that is bothering me so much. It is just alot of little things that are piling up. I am back to feeling like I want to jump out of my skin. I am sitting still, but my insides are running a million miles an hour. I have gone from having insomnia, to sleeping all the time. That makes it a little difficult to get things done. I suppose that is a symptom of depression. I love the doctor's advice. Part of my stress is money worries. Right now, I can't afford the anti anxiety meds. Our insurance ran out, so I have to save the money to get the meds. The doctor wants me to see a therapist. So let me get this straight, I can't afford the meds, I am worried about money, but let's find enough money to spend $75 an hour to tell someone else that. That's practical.

If you have ever experienced depression you will understand. It sort of feels like you are drowning on dry land.

I will try to post something upbeat soon. But if I have disappeared for a little while, you know where I am..... the psych ward. Take care all.

2007-10-18T20:57:00.000-07:00

Okay, parenting this day and age is getting harder and harder. When we were kids our main worries were bullies, strangers in cars, and pimples. Today there was a threat written on the bathroom wall of my son's school. It happened too late in the day for parents to be sent a letter. Instead they posted a letter on their webpage and notified the media.

I realize that the threat is probably not a real threat but still. The big question is do you send your kid to school or not. On one hand, I realize that the threat was more than likely made to get the kids out of class. On the other hand, what if...

On the one hand, if I keep him home from school, it will count toward his class absences. On the other hand, how much learning will actually occur?

The notice said all the doors will be locked and there will be a strong police prescence. Do I really want to send my son into that enviroment?

My little girl is terrified something will happen to her brother. No matter what I say, I can't convince her that he will be safe. I am comtemplating keeping him home just to reassure her.

What happened to the good old days. Where you had to worry about your kids smoking, or skipping classses and that was about it. You never had to worry they will get themselves killed.

FUCK YOU! FRIDAY (ONLY IT'S THURSDAY)

2007-10-11T12:57:00.000-07:00

I wasn't sure if I would have time to make a post on friday, so instead of depriving you of a Friday post, I have made one early. Have a great weekend!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

2007-10-07T17:57:00.000-07:00

Here in the Great White North, it is Thanksgiving. Today I give thanks for all my friends and family. Including all my blogger friends.

HAPPY TURKEY DAY! May you all have something to be thankful for. Here, I will share some turkey with you.

SMILE OF THE DAY

2007-10-03T12:08:00.000-07:00

Gotta love his honesty! Finally, a pool I can afford.

Now that you have smiled, have a great day!

One Smart Cookie

2007-09-26T10:48:00.000-07:00

One day I hope to be as smart as this old lady

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on.

Finally he went to the check-out line, but she got in front of him. "Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who I haven't seen in a long time."

"That's a shame," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!'? It would make me feel so much better."

"Sure," answered the young man. So, when the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!"

As he stepped up to the check-out counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. "How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"

The clerk replied, "Your mother said that you would pay for her."

Rest in Peace

2007-09-24T00:05:00.000-07:00

It has been one year since Giselle left us. I had wanted to get another tattoo in memory of her but I just couldn't swing it. I hope she is at peace. She has left this earth, but she will never leave our hearts.

REST IN PEACE MY FRIEND

Fuck you! Fridays

2007-09-21T17:15:00.000-07:00

AAARRRGGGGG!!!

I thought this week would never end. It has been the week from hell. I already vented about Monday. Let me tell you. It didn't get better.

Come with me as we enter the week from hell. For starters, I am still recovering from my near death yesterday. The city is full of construction right now. Every major route in the city has some form of construction. It has made for a travelling nightmare. Yesterday I was travelling back from my Chiro appointment. It is on the other side of the city from me. ( I really should find something closer) I was toodling along in my lane. The lane WITHOUT the construction. When out of the blue, the car beside me thought it would be a good idea to take over my lane. That would be fine except I was beside him at the time. Not ahead, so I could see a signal that he wanted in. Not Behind where he could squeeze in. Nope right beside me. He figured that his lane ended so he should automatically get mine. Hello! Driving here! We were travelling around 80km at the time. When I realized what he was doing, I hit the brakes mighty quick. The car behind me must have seen what was happening because when I stopped, he was stopped a good two car lengths behind me. When we stopped, you could not have put a piece of paper between us. He starts flapping his arms at me. Hello! I was minding my own business in my own lane. Sheesh. It scared me so bad, my knees shook the rest of the way home.

Today was not a wonderful day either. I started my day off with my daughter yelling from her bed she needed help. She was so ill, she couldn't move. She had a major asthma attack on Tuesday. I thought it was better. I kept her home on Wednesday. This morning she came down with the flu. Oh joy. My other daughter is very shy. She did not want to take a taxi by herself to school. I was leary about sending her on the city bus alone too. I asked my husband to drop her off at school. He refused because he had to be at his parents for 7 to help them move. I thought they might understand but nope. My friend was deathly ill yesterday so I didn't want to ask her and my other friends were already at work. So I kept both girls home in the morning. I couldn't drive them because I was looking after too many kids to fit in the car. Since I was at home, I thought I would really clean my room. We have a wasp nest outside of our back door. Lately, they have been getting into my bedroom. I can't figure out how. My husband is deathly allergic to wasp stings so that could be a big problem. The cat was chasing one of these wasps and got tangled up in my curtains. My curtain rod is now in the shape of a U. I knew I had another one somewhere. I eventually found it. While I was at it, I thought it would be a good idea to wash the curtains. Then I thought about caulking around the window to stop the wasps. Except I also couldn't find the caulking gun. AAARrRRRgggg. I was able to borrow one. When I went to hang the new rod, the old hooks didn't fit the new rod. Then the drill was dead. It took me all day to do this little thing. I still haven't had time for a shower. Then I got a call from my friend's son. He was home sick and his mom was chaperoning a field trip. His other sister got sick and needed to be picked up from school. So I loaded my sick child and the three year old into the car and off we went. I just couldn't get anything done. While in the car I was complaining that my sunglasses were dirty. When I took them off to clean them, the lens fell out.

I was exhausted and grumpy at this point. I did not feel like cooking so I ordered a pizza. They told me to pick it up in 30 minutes. Yeah, try an hour. We sat there for 30 minutes waiting. At this point, my son announced that his cell phone had been cut off. I know the bill payment was made, because I dropped it off myself. However, knowing this company it didn't surprise me. They waited over a month to cash my last cheque. However, they didn't cut him off until 6. On a Friday. Yeah good luck getting that fixed anytime soon.

Just to top things off, just as I was pulling into home, the gas light on the car came on. Ooopppss. I kinda forgot all about putting gas in it. I am now officially calling this week over! Have a great weekend y'all.

NEVER MIND THE DOG

2007-09-18T11:28:00.000-07:00

I DON'T LIKE MONDAYS

2007-09-17T05:41:00.000-07:00

MONDAYS... need I say more?

I don't like Mondays but I hate being disorganized more. Today was a huge disorganized morning. I don't know where I left my mind. To start off, I forgot to write on the calendar that I had one of my extra kids, so I was still in bed when he arrived. Thank God I was awake. Then I went to make lunches and discovered that someone had eaten all the bread. Now I have to get my son to buy his lunch. Thank God he has money. I was going to go to the bank this morning. Then my husband was mad at me because I didn't have any cash to give him to buy smokes. Oh well, you should have asked yesterday when I was out. Then I asked him to take the big car.. affectionately known as "the tank" to work today. I have a chiro appointment on the other side of the city. I hate to drive at the best of times let alone when I have to go through miles of construction and leave my neighborhood. The construction I have to drive through was the scene of a fatal accident on Friday. One construction person was killed and the other one was seriously injured. Now I really panic going through it. To top it off I couldn't find the appointment card for my appointment. I can't remember if it is at 10 or 11. I hate being disorganized!

To continue with my forgetfulness, we then realized that it was garbage day. Nothing like starting your day out by chasing the garbage truck down the backlane in your underwear. It might not be so bad if I had fancy Batman Underoos like Mark, but I don't. At least it wasn't the underwear with the big hole in it.

Then I opened the door to get the paper to discover that my new Halloween broom is missing. It was really cool. It was black and neon orange and had a sign on it that said either " The Witch is in" or " The Witch is out". I love it. I hope it turns up.

I also realized that my children have dentist appointments today. Oh joy. I have an extra child I had forgotten about and didn't make extra arrangements for it. I have to scramble to fix that too.

Now instead of trying to fix all the stupid things I have done (or left undone) this morning, I am blogging. Bad blogger, bad blogger.

I will leave you with this thought for the day...

GRACE KELLY

2007-09-16T22:21:00.000-07:00

Grace Kelly Video

Grace Kelly lyrics - Mika lyrics

Mika Music Videos

Music Video Codes by VideoCure

i want to talk to you

(the last time we talked mr smith you reduced me to tears i promise you it wont happen again)

do i attract you? do i repulse you with my queasy smile? am i too dirty? am i too flirty? do i like what you like? i could be wholesome i could be loathsome i guess im a little bit shy

why dont you like me? why dont you like me? without making me try?

I tried to be like grace kelly(mmm) but all her looks were to sad(uhhh) so i tried a little freddy(MMMM) ive gone identity mad!!

i could be brown i could be blue i could be violet sky i could be hurtful i could be purple i could be anything you like gotta be green gotta be mean gotta be everything more why dont you like me? why dont you like me? why dont you walk out the door?

(getting angry doesn't solve anything)

how can i help it? how can i help it? how can i help what you think?

hello my baby hello my baby

putting my life on the brink why dont you like me? why dont you like me? why dont you like yourself? should i bend over? should i look older? just to be put on the shelf?

i tried to be like grace kelly(mmm) but all her looks were to sad(uhh) [Grace Kelly lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

so i tried a little freddie(MMMM) iv gone identity mad!!

i could be brown i could be blue i could be violet sky i could hurtful i could be purple i could be anything you like gotta be green gotta be mean gotta be everything more

why don't you like me why don't you like me walk out the door!

say what you want to satisfy yourself hey! but you only want,what everybody else says you should want, you want.

i could be brown i could be blue i could be violet sky i could hurtful i could be purple i could be anything you like gotta be green gotta be mean gotta be everything more why don't you like me why don't you like me walk out the door

I think the song pretty much says it all.

2007-09-16T15:00:00.000-07:00

SEPTEMBER 11

2007-09-10T20:38:00.000-07:00

SEPTEMBER 11

Need I say more? Please take a minute today and remember.

SIGH

2007-09-10T10:05:00.000-07:00

I get so tired of this. I am sure you are tired of reading it too but here is another bitch.

I have been treasurer of the school Parent Council for two years now. I thought I was done. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. The Auditor wanted the books in June. We had lots of cheques we had to send out in June and it was a pain to get the books into her in June but we did it. She had the books all summer. She only started looking at them last week. So what the hell was the rush to get them in? Now this woman is making my life hell. She is nitpicking things and it is starting to piss me off. She forgets I am not an accountant. I don't have training. I don't get paid. I am a stupid volunteer. I did the best job I could. To call me up and give me hell because I didn't attach the reciepts the way you liked or I did it in pencil (cuz I make alot of mistakes. Remember, I am not an accountant), or I didn't give out reciepts to all the children who purchased penny candy from the canteen is getting a little overboard. Give me a break! If you want it done professionally, HIRE AN ACCOUNTANT! Then she wanted to know why I didn't include the June bank statement. Let's see. It could be because the statements are sent to the school and the school is closed in July and August. Then when I went to pick it up, the school had let a past president of the council take it. Never mind this person hasn't had a child in the school for two years and has no business taking it. Now I am on the hook for it. Plus she wanted to know why I didn't do a financial statement for June. Hello! You had my books. How was I supposed to do it? This woman is going to drive me to drink! More!

Then I have this parent I used to babysit for. In June she backed out on me for the summer with no notice. I should have charged her for it but I didn't. Then she called me and left me a message the week before school started telling me her sister in law VOLUNTEERED to take her boys so she wouldn't need me. Fine. But give me some notice. This did not just occur one morning. Today I got a call from a friend of mine. She wanted to know how much I would charge to take two kids before and after school and what I would charge for the full day. I told her my rates. They are the same for all my kids. Then she proceeded to tell me she was talking to the sister in law of this woman, and my friend was told that the mother pulled her kids from me because I was overcharging her. She said I was charging $50 per day for before and after school. Are you kidding me? I don't even charge half of that! I am so angry I could blow any second! This is the rumour now. Do you really think I will get any more kids if people think I charge that much? I am so angry at this woman. How could she tell such awful lies? What the hell did I ever do to her?

Some days it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the restraints. I am going to unplug the phone and go back to bed for a week!

Hope your week started out better!

LIFE OF A REDNECK

2007-09-05T08:54:00.000-07:00

>> HI - Welcome to Manitoba

>> >> Thank you for visiting our beautiful province. >>

>> Here are a few things you ought to know to make your stay more pleasant: >>

>> 1. That slope-shouldered farm boy you are snickering at did more work >> before breakfast than you will do all week at the gym. >>

>> 2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're >> going to get dust on your BMW. I have a 4-wheel drive because I need it. >> Now drive or get it out of the way. >>

>> >> 3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine-years-old. Yeah, >> we saw Bambi die. We got over it. >>

>> >> 4. Any references to "grain fed" when talking about our women will get >> your butt kicked...by our women. >>

>> >> 5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around. You look like an idiot. >>

>> >> 6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their >> final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to >> your ear at the time. >> >>

>> 7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order >> it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds >> of ham and turkey. >>

>> >> 8. Yeah, we have sweetened ice tea. It comes sweetened, you don't need a >> glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon. >> >>

>> 9. You bring Coke into my house you should bring rye along, and ice. >>

>> 10. So you have a sixty-thousand-dollar car. We're real impressed. We >> have quarter-million-dollar combines that we use two weeks a year. >>

>> >> 11. Let's get this straight. We may have one stoplight in town, but we >> stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow. >> >>

>> 12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to. So, >> you're a feminist. Isn't that cute. >> >>

>> 13. Yeah, we eat trout, northern pike, walleye and perch, too. If you >> really want sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait shop. >> >>

>> 14. They are pigs and cows. That's what they smell like. Get over it. >> Don't like it? Highways #1 and #16 go two ways - get on one of them. The >> more people that leave, the better the hunting & fishing. >> >>

>> 15. So what if every person in every pick-up waves? It's called being >> friendly. Understand the concept? >> >>

>> 16. Yeah, we have golf courses, more per person than anywhere else on >> earth. Don't hit into the water hazards. It spooks the fish. And stay >> out of the woods, that spooks the deer. Please enjoy your stay. >>

Ahh the life of a Prairie Redneck. God Bless us all.Turns out, great minds think alike. Check out Lord of the Ididots for his perspective on the American Redneck.

SUMMER HOLIDAYS

2007-08-28T13:40:00.000-07:00

Well my lovlies, it is finally my summer holidays. I have been on holidays for almost two weeks now. It hasn't felt like a holiday. My kids have had soo many kids sleep over and I have spent almost every waking hour at the skate park with the kids. So much for holidays away from taking care of children. Now it is time for my annual trip. I get a whole three days away from my family, home and life. Woo Hoo!

As my farewell gift to you, I will show you a boob picture.

Now that I got you excited, I will explain the story. When you spent time babysitting preadolescent boys, you get a whole new education. One day the boys asked if I would take them to the "Boob Park". After I spit my coffee out I asked them what they were talking about. The said they wanted me to take them to the "Boob Park " by 7-11. I knew what park they were asking about but I had no idea why they called it that. They informed me that the merry - go - round looked like a boob. I have been taking kids to this park for years. Until that day, I had never noticed. Damn if they weren't right.

So without further ado, I offer you ........ 'THE BOOB PARK'.

Thursday

2007-08-23T11:56:00.000-07:00

He's My hero!

The Mysteries of the mind

2007-08-20T20:54:00.000-07:00

I have been dreaming about her again. My nights have not been restful. In my dreams, I am trying to contact her. I am trying to reach her. I sense she is trouble. I am trying to get to her but I never do. I wonder if subconscoiusly I know the anniversary of her death is nearing. I didn't dream of her when she died. But she haunts my dreams now.

It isn't like it was the first time someone close to me passed on. Maybe it is because she was my first friend to pass on that haunts me so much. She was so young. So full of life. She had so much to accomplish. She didn't get a chance to adopt her baby.

It frustrates me that I cannot fix this. I can't bring her back. Instead she haunts my dreams. If only I could actually contact her in my dream. Then maybe the dreams will stop. Maybe they will stop after the anniversary of her death passes. Of course then it would have been her birthday. Two events so close together. I feel like I am losing my mind. Maybe she is trying to tell me something. Something I can't quite grasp. Who knows. Maybe she is telling me that I will be joining her soon. I wish I knew.

Shakespeare said.. " to sleep, perchance to dream" For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, /When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, /Must give us pause.

Maybe Shakespeare really understood. I wish I did.

FUCK YOU FRIDAY

2007-08-17T16:06:00.000-07:00

It is that time of week again. I guess I disappointed a reader/fan last week because I had no post. Not to worry. I have a great big one this week.

Where to start?

Let's start with the computer itself. It crashed this week. Or at least I thought it crashed. I was so upset. I had not saved to disc any of the emails I had from my friend who had passed away. I was so upset to think that I had lost them. Fortunetly, I didn;t loose them. You can bet they are saved to disc now! Since it has been so hot and we don't have central air, we use window air conditioners. For whatever reason, this summer it seemed to sometimes overload the circuits and blow a fuse. It turns out that all of those blown fuses scrambled the computer because it was not shut down properly. All was saved. Whew

My holidays have started now. You would think that would make me happy. Nope. I hate sounding whiny, but here goes. I did not get paid. Two families owe me money and neither one paid me. Of course they are both on holidays now too. I can't reach them. They have left. Great. I was supposed to go away for a few days the last week in August. Not going to happen now. First off, I don't have the extra money since I didn't get paid. Plus in the mail this week, I recieved a number of unexpected bills. The kids registration for bowling is due that week plus student fees for the boy plus the boy talked too much on his cell phone so I have a huge bill. Yes he will pay for it, he is working to pay it off, but for now, I have to pay it. Then the bowling registration, timetable pickup and calling to arrange teacher meetings all take place the week I wanted to go away. Since their father will not do any of it, it looks like the vaction is off. I am not a happy camper.

There you have it , my Fuck You this week, is sent out to disappointment. Have a good weekend y'all. Happy Fuck you Friday.

I AM WANTED!! HOORAY!!!

2007-08-07T20:24:00.000-07:00

guttergirl358.blogspot.com

WANTED FOR THE TRICKY LICKING of a GRACEFUL VENDING MACHINE

$2600

What's Your Blog Wanted For?

Free Online Dating from Mingle²

I stole this from Mackey. Now a days it is just nice to be wanted.

Today in history

2007-08-07T07:26:00.000-07:00

Today is a big day in our home. Today my baby twins enter the double digits. My little girls turn 10! They were so excited last night they couldn't sleep. Remember when you used to look forward to birthdays instead of hiding from them? Me either. I guess that is part of old age.

My angels have certainly come along way. When they were born, they were 2 months early. They weighed 3lbs 5 oz and 3 lbs 7oz. They were so tiny. We couldn't even hold them for a month after they were born because they were so tiny and delicate.

So Happy Birthday my babies!

While we are talking about birthdays, skip on over to see.Melissa and her new baby boy Xander. What a cutie. He is a heartbreaker in the making

Monday Funnies

2007-08-06T21:49:00.000-07:00

Cops Say the Darndest Things! #16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder that the one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here!

HAPPY FUCK YOU, FRIDAY

2007-08-03T07:21:00.000-07:00

The Difference Between Men and Women

Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then, there is silence in the car.

To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Fred is thinking: ...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Martha is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Fred is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Martha is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Fred is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumballs.

And Martha is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Fred," Martha says aloud.

"What?" says Fred, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have...oh dear, I feel so..."(She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Fred.

"I'm such a fool," Martha sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Fred.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Martha says.

"No!" says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Martha says. (There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

"Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Fred.

"That way about time," says Martha.

"Oh," says Fred. "Yes." (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Fred," she says.

"Thank you," says Fred.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.

They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?"

And that's the difference between men and women.

I got this sent to me in an email. Ain't it the truth?

Have a great long weekend and Happy FUCK YOU, FRIDAY!

I am in kid tv hell

2007-08-01T07:50:00.000-07:00

This one is for Al

2007-08-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

This is my favorite Simpsons episode. It makes me laugh every time I see it. Since Al is not a big fan of the Simpson clan, I thought I might try to swing him over to the other side by posting my fav.

,/p> May I suggest you post your own favorite Simpson episode, then tell Al to come and watch.

Sorry Al I won't be happy until you declare yourself a fan!

It's Okay, I'm Back..... or maybe it's not

2007-07-30T10:38:00.000-07:00

No I have not fallen off the face of the earth. When I find out how to do that though, I can't make any promises of not jumping....

Well my little gang of three whole reader, I have been kidnapped for a while. It was totally unexpected. Aren't kidnappings always unexpected?

It started out like any other ordinary day. I plunked my ample ass into the computer chair and logged onto the computer for my daily two minutes of " Don't bug Mom she is reading her emails. I will be off in a minute. Don't bleed on the good towels" time. That is when I made the deadly mistake. I opened a seemingly innocent email from a friend of mine. Enclosed in this little message was an invitation. Woo Hoo an invitation. I never get invited anywhere anymore. Unless you count those online chat rooms that offer to improve my sex life. But I digress.

There it was, the beginning of my disappearance. Yes, it was an invitation to........

FACEBOOK!!

YES, I have been seduced by the dark side. I have been cheating on my bloggin buddies by stalking Facebook. I have found all kinds of people I never thought I would hear of again. I found a friend of mine I haven't seen since my high school grad. He is teaching in South Korea. I also found another friend from high school. We had a great talk. We never hooked up in high school but I always thought there was a spark there. Turns out I was right. However, he was intimidated by little ole me. Hard to believe.

Quite a boost to the ego. However it is a little sad to think of the lost opportunites and wasted time.

Never fear, I am back though. I wouldn't neglect you all for too long. If you want to move over to the dark side too, let me know and I will let you know how to find me on Facebook and we can be friends too!

REST IN PEACE

2007-07-24T09:11:00.001-07:00

On Saturday, John Bowie Ferguson passed away from cancer.

He may not have lived in Winnipeg for a long time but he still lived in the hearts of many of us. With out Fergie, Winnipeg may never have had an NHL team. It was thanks to him that we did.

John Ferguson was beyond a legend. His temper,talent and compassion were legendary. He made this city. I heard a quote about him this week. He may have played for Montreal, but he bled Jet Blue. I hope he knew how much this city loved him. He will forever be in our hearts. He will always be rememembered as in integeral part of the Winnipeg Jets. He WAS the heart of the team.

Rest in peace.

What ever happened to polite society?

2007-07-13T11:05:00.000-07:00

Last night, I caught the end of a news report. It made me stop and think for a minute. Do you remember when female teachers always wore dresses and high heels.. even for track and field day? Male teachers were always in a suit and tie? And if television commericials are accurate, women washed their floors and homes in dresses and high heels. (What do you mean tv is not reality? It is in my world) In this news report there was a bank robbery. The suspect was a female wearing pyjama pants. Oh how far we have fallen. I found it really funny. I wonder what went through her head. "Oh, I am going to rob a bank today but I don't feel like getting dressed to do it" It just struck me as funny, we even rob banks in our pjs now.

I am happily throwing out all of my clothes now. I will from this day forward, live in my pjs. Comfy or what. Since it is Friday, I think I will get a head start on that plan now.

Of course it is friday so I will offer you this little Fuck you Friday picture.

Blogging for Bling

2007-07-10T19:51:00.000-07:00

OOOOH I want these!!!

My kids keep stealing my ear buds. If I had these, I would only have to fight one person in the house for them. Face it, my son would rather go musicless (is that a word?) than be caught dead wearing these!

Check 'em outCheck 'em out for yourself.

2007-07-10T06:08:00.000-07:00

Melisa Etherage wrote a song for the event asking where had the American spirit gone, the spirit that questions injustice, that exercises its freedom, have they become too busy to care?

I stole this line from JQ. Sorry JQ. I stole it because this line really speaks to me. Maybe not in the way it ws originally intended but still....

Sometimes I wonder where my spirit went too. I remember when I was idealistic and was going to change the world. When did that change? When did I become jaded? When did I stop caring about the world around me? Maybe it is because I have just gotten older. I have children and responsibilities. Or maybe that is just a cop out. I always read the post of my pals PropagandhiI grew up with two of the members. We are the same age (give or take a few months), They went to university, got an education and still kept their spirit. They care about the world around them. When they see injustice, they fight for it. I shake my head and tsk tsk isn't that too bad, and move on. When did I become what I used to hate? What happened to my spirit?

THE SCIENCE LESSON AKA THE STORY OF MY LIFE

2007-07-05T08:20:00.000-07:00

Science Lesson

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.

Now it was question time, and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?" A little boy on the front row proudly said, "You're a mother!"

The story of my life. My kids always get maid and mom mixed up

WHEN i SAY THINGS ARE SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL, I AM NOT KIDDING

2007-06-25T19:53:00.000-07:00

This twister happened on Friday. As it turned out, I had taken my kids to the batting cages about 10 miles from there. They weren't worried, but I was. I had to bribe them to leave. Ice cream works wonders.

In case you were wondering, we are all safe. There were no fatalities, but, I believe, there were four houses destroyed.

IT'S FRIDAY AGAIN

2007-06-22T08:27:00.000-07:00

Yes my fellow readers (all two of you), it is that time of the week again. The time when I get to vent my spleen and hope I feel better about it.

Yup, it is FUCK YOU, FRIDAY !

I have a few things I would like to give the one finger salute to. Right now we are in the middle of a 10 day stretch of baseball. Baseball foe at least one kid every day for 10 days. Then we get one day off and we start again. The playoffs start this weekend, then the city championship, followed by the provincials. Don't forget about the practices and the make up games for the games that were rained out. I am not playing but frankly, I am exhausted.

My daughters were to go to Denver this summer with this girl's club they had joined. They were looking forward to it, now they have changed their minds. I am okay with this cuz I really can't afford the trip. However, the leader of this group is royally pissed off at me. I warned her last week that the girls were starting to change their minds and maybe she should try to build it up as a trip full of fun. I guess she forgot about our conversation. Plus if my girls don't go, two other girls don't want to go. I can understand the leader's frustration but I will not force my 9 year old girls to go to another country with people they are not comfortable with to do something they really don't need or want to do. This morning the leader pretty much hung up on me. She is so angry with me because the girls don't want to go. I told her I would talk to them again and see if I can convince them to go, but the girls are pretty positive they do not want to go.

I was supposed to start a new course this week. SUPPOSED TO were the key words in that sentence. The class was to begin on Tuesday night. Tuesday afternoon, I got the call that the course has been cancelled AGAIN! This is the third time. I am starting to get really pissed off here. They told me I can switch to distance education if I wanted to. That is basically correspondense courses. Hello! School is out in one week. When would I ever find t he quiet time to do the work. Not going to happen. When I called them and told them I wanted my money back because I was not doing distance ed, they lady on the phone was royally ticked at me. Hey lady, you guys cancelled the course THREE TIMES not me.

,/P> One week left of school and the rugrats are out. Yesterday, I asked the only mom I hadn't heard from yet, when her holidays were so I can plan my summer and the activities for the kids. She then informed me that she wouldn't need me this summer. When did she plan on telling me this? Next friday? That is over $1000 of income I was counting on that will not be coming now. How fair is that? If I was a real bitch I would charge her to hold her spot for September. Granted her kids are brats and it will be alot quieter here without them but unexpected drop in income is going to hurt.

In honor of all of these things, I browsed through Photobucket and found this picture that sums up how I am feeling perfectly. Enjoy and have a great weekend. Think of me stuck at baseball.

]

THOSE NAUGHTY PIRATES

2007-06-22T06:40:00.001-07:00

INFO FROM THE DOCTOR

2007-06-21T05:34:00.000-07:00

Info from the Doctor

A little old woman called Mount Sinai Hospital. She said, "Mount Sinai Hospital? Hello. Darling, I'd like to talk with the person who gives the information about the patients. But I don't want to know if the patient is better or doing like expected, or worse, I want all the information from top to bottom, from A to Z."

The voice on the other end of the line said, "Would you hold the line, please, that's a very unusual request?"

Then a very authoritative voice came on and said, "Are you the lady who is calling about one of the patients?"

She said, "Yes, darling! I'd like to know the information about Sarah Finkel, in room 302."

He said, "Finkel. Finkel. Let me see. Feinberg, Farber - Finkel. Oh yes, Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her doctor says if she continues improving as she is, he is going to send her home Tuesday at twelve o'clock."

The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful! She's going home at twelve o'clock! I'm so happy to hear that. That's wonderful news."

The guy on the other end said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be one of the close family?"

She said, "What close family? I'm Sarah Finkel! My doctor don't tell me nothing!"

...ain't it the truth

REFUSING TO BE A MAN

2007-06-15T08:08:00.001-07:00

This has to be my favorite Propagahndi songs of all time. I know it can be a little hard to understand, but the message in this song is deep.

Propagandhi Lyrics

Refusing To Be A Man Lyrics

i'm not going to try to tell you that i'm different from all the rest. i've been subject to the same de-structure of desire and i've felt the same effects; i'm a hetero-sexist tragedy. and potential rapists all are we. but don't tell me this is natural. this is nurturing. and there's a difference between sexism and sexuality. i had different desires prior to my role-remodelling. and at six years of age you don't challenge their claims. you become the same. (or withdraw from the game and hang your head in shame). i think that's exactly what i did. i tried to sever the connections between me and them. i fought against their further attempts to convince a kid that birthright can bestow the power to yield the subordination of women and do you know what patricentricity means? i found out just a couple of days ago. it means male values uber alles and hey! whaddaya know... sex has been distorted and vilified. i'm scared of my attraction to body types. if everything desired is objectified then eroticism needs to be redefined. and i refuse to be a "man". dead men don't rape. a gender war in your fucking face. a battle hymn to celebrate the fact that we don't have to become or remain what we've come to hate...

THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES

2007-06-11T06:11:00.000-07:00

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs Video

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs lyrics - Fall Out Boy lyrics

Fall Out Boy Music Videos

Music Video Codes by VideoCure

FUCK YOU! FRIDAYS

2007-05-25T06:09:00.000-07:00

Good Morning to all. It has been a busy, yucky week. I have had a killer headache all week. I think it might have something to do with the fact that it was election time in the province. Nothing much changed. What a waste of my tax dollars. I think only two seats changed. I admit I was disappointed in the result. In my opinion, the NDP government is trying to close our local hospital. I believe we are down to two emergency room doctors. God help you if you need to go to the emerg. Who knows how long you have to wait while bleeding profusely from a vital organ. Our local representative has not said word one to protect our hospital. I could scream that no one has taken a stand about it. I was disappointed that our MLA was re elected by a landslide. I guess rotten health care doesn't bother the voter. AAARRRGGGG!

When I was searching for a great picture for Fuck You Friday, I came across this gem. I think this is how older people will feel when our hospital is closed. In honor of Fuck you Friday, the league of pissed off old women and I, we offer our opinion of sub standard health care.(and no I am not in the picture)

If you have a minute, please head on over to see my pal Canadian Sentinel. Wish his Dad a speedy recovery. They have both had a rough week.

Now have a great weekend. To start you off right here is something you can comfort yourself with. At least you don't live here. It was fucking snowing here this morning. It is almost June. What happened to Global Warming?

SIGN IN THE STORE WINDOW

2007-05-20T15:30:00.000-07:00

I got this one sent to me via email from a friend. I am sorry there was no picture to go along with it.

"WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1,000 AL-QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE CANADIAN"!

This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Vancouver. You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement. One would think that anti-hate groups from all across the country would be marching on this business .... and that the RCMP might have to be called to keep the angry crowds back. But, perhaps in these stressful times one might be tempted to let the proprietors simply make their statement. We are a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty. And after all, it is just a sign. You may ask what kind of business would dare post such a sign?

Answer:

A Funeral Home

(Who said morticians had no sense of humour?)

You gotta love it!!! God Bless Canada!

MORE DEEP THOUGHTS

2007-05-17T11:46:00.000-07:00

- In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

(And my feet are cold all year round)

- Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?

(Like this question?)

- Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?

(Simple, young men where their pants so low they hang around at their ankles. Old men would fall and break a hip if they did that)

- Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened?

(I wouldn't know. I am still too young. I am also still in deep denial)

- If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the dumber sex?

(This is obvious isn't it?)

- Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?

(Why are we only generous at holiday time? What does Scrooge do the rest of the year?)

- Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch,' but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bedridden for weeks?

(This is why Women have babies and men don't)

- How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

(Simply put, I like my father in law)

- Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?

( Like how to fill an ice cube tray)

- Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American food?

(What is Canadian food?)

- Shouldn't all married men forget their mistakes? After all there's no sense in two people remembering the same things right?

(Women remember their biggest mistake every time their husband makes another mistake.)

- Is the real reason women live longer then men because they don't have to live with women?

(The real reason is that all that dishwashing over the years has built up an amazing amount of defense against disease that would kill the a man)

- If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to?

(Well duh)

DEEP THOUGHTS

2007-05-17T06:23:00.000-07:00

- Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

(In my house it does)

- Why is it that no matter what colour of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

(and when your done, the water is always black)

- Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?

(The day I want to buy one)

- Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

(I live with a teenage boy. I am making sure there still is a fridge left)

- Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?

(Gee, it isn't like Cheerios. Those you can just squish with your shoe to make them easier to vacuum)

- How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?

(Better question? How do the they get out?)

- Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not then what was the purpose of the bath?

(See first explaination)

- Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?

(That would reduce the amount of dirty laundry I would have)

- When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say 'It's all right'? It isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?'

( You don't say it is all right when they run into you with a car. What is the difference with a cart. I had a woman run over my already broken toe with her cart once)

- Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

(People actually try to catch the falling item? I am usually running for a towel to clean up either the blood or the liquid that will inevitably be spilt)

- Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?

(They don't call us White Trash for nothing)

FUCK YOU ! FRIDAYS

2007-05-11T06:16:00.000-07:00

WARNING!!! BITCH SPASMS MAY OCCUR!!!! UH OH, HERE COMES ONE NOW!!

I am so fricking miserable today. I am pissed at the world. No one in this house will lift a gd finger to help around here. I am so fed up. The kids are suppossed to do the dishes every night. I don't think they have done them in three weeks. Granted we are busy on baseball nights, and I will do them those nights but the rest of the nights there is no excuse. All I hear is " it's not my night" . I know I should be pushing them to do it anyway but I am so tired of nagging everyone to do things. We have those ridiculous European cabniets in the kitchen. I hate them. The screws always come loose and then the door falls off. Yesterday, the door fell off one of the higher ones. Being a vertically challenged person, putting the door back on by myself is difficult. I asked the adult male in this house to help me. He didn't have time before baseball and after was "too tired". I complained this morning and I was told it is not that hard, you can do it yourself. FUCK OFF!

My daughters belong to this stupid girls club. It is a service group an aquantance of mine runs. I let the girls join as a favor to her. Had I known what I was getting into, I wouldn't have. It is costing me an arm and a leg. Every time I turn around, they need more money for something else. They are always fundraising. Last night I get a call, they have been volunteered to help with " Take Pride Winnipeg". Basically, I have to get up early Saturday drive them across the city so we can pick up garbage for two fucking hours, then drive them home. Just how I want to spend my Saturday. Plus as a bonus, we meet just after my favorite intersection. It is affectionately called " Confusion Corner". I hate driving at the best of times. I REALLY hate driving at that end of the city.

Then my daughter has a ball practice on sunday at six. Yes we have a ball practice on Mother's Day. The adult male in the house is already complaining about it. Guess what that means? Yup, it will mean I get to take her to it. Oh joy. Not only do I get to nag my son to pack for the camp he leaves for on Monday at 8, cook, do the laundry, and clean, I now get to add ball practice to it. I really want to sit there on Mother's day and listen to one parent tell me that my daughter sucks at baseball and his wife tell all of us what patterns she likes to shave her body hair in. Oh yes, can you picture a better Mother's day. How lucky am I .

Next bitch... My sister in laws birthday was last Saturday. I am the one who buys her present, wraps it, and drops it off at her house. Do I ever get a thank you? NOpe. Sometimes she will phone her brother at work and thank him for buying his sister a wonderful present. Then she will call her other sister and tell her all about the present HER BROTHER bought for her. Once, my other sister in law pointed out to her that it was me who does it. She argued with her. Whatever. Anyway, I get a little pissed off and really don't want to take the time to buy her presents anymore. This year she is running in the weekend to end Breast Cancer. A noble cause of course. However, I am getting calls and letters from her and her parents telling me to give her money for this. They even sent a letter to my parents asking for money. I don't have two nickels to rub together right now. Car insurance, mortagage, property taxes, fees for camp, and car payments are all this month. Sure I have extra money laying around. Anyway, for her birthday, I bought her a card and wrote her a cheque for her race. We didn't even get a thank you. Now I am really pissed. Next year, I am not even sending a card. If h er brother wants to remember her birthday, he can. I am not.

Basically, I am stressed and grouchy. Then I read things that other people are going through and I feel so selfish. Please take some time and go see Melissa and give her your good thoughts. Her husband leaves on Saturday, and will miss the birth of their child. She has alot on her plate and could use your good wishes.

I think my bitch spasms have ended for today. Thanks for tuning in. Have a great Fuck You! Friday and let us know if you played along.

RETURN OF JETS PART??????

2007-05-07T20:43:00.001-07:00

It is election time here in Manitoba. In my opinion so far, it has been a quiet campaign. Judging by the election propaganda I have recieved, not even the candidates are interested in it. The election is now two weeks away. So far I have recieved flyers from two candidates and visits from no one.

Today the Conservatives dropped a bombshell. If elected they will bring back the Winnipeg Jets. The Jets leaving Winnipeg is still an open sore here. We try to move on then something drags us back again. First it was the "Save the Jets" campaign, then the demolition of the old arena. While I would love to see the Jets back, I don't see it realistically happening. It was an interesting political move though. Especially when Hugh McFadden brought Thomas Steen (a former Jet and fan favorite) to his announcement. I am interested to see how this plays out. I will keep you updated. If you want, you can read the http://winnipegsun.com/News/ProvElection/2007/05/07/4160682.htmla>article

Top Ten Things Only Women Understand

2007-05-07T06:33:00.000-07:00

10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.

9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off white.

8. Crying can be fun.

7. Fat clothes.

6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.

5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.

4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.

2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.

1. Other women!

2007-05-03T10:36:00.000-07:00

Greetings all.

Today I have a little assignment for you. My friends over at Propagandhi, have issued a request. It is unusual, I will admit. Turns out the Winnipeg published "The Beaver Canada's History Magazine is running a contest. They are looking for nominations for The Worst Canadian in history. Now Propagandhi's Chris Hannah is looking for a nomination. Yes Chris wants to named Worst Canadian. Take a jump over to The Beaver and place your vote.

... and you thought the provincial election wasn't until May 22nd didn't you.

Have a great day and let me know if you voted.

SCARY THOUGHTS FOR TODAY

2007-04-28T12:40:00.000-07:00

It may not be Halloween, but do you want to read something that will scare the pants off you?

Canadian Sentinel sent this gem to me. Everyone should read it. It is something that will make you think. It will also scare the bejeezus out of you if you stop to think about it. Check it out and let him know I sent you.

THIS IS WHY I DON'T FLY

2007-04-24T07:31:00.000-07:00

Hippopotamus, New York

A woman called to make reservations "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent asked "Are you sure that's the name of the town?"

"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer.

After some searching, the agent came back with "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere."

The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered.

"You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal" was the reply.

It's Fuck You ! Friday Again

2007-04-20T10:32:00.000-07:00

The human's capacity for stupidity never ceased to amaze me. Take today's little story for example.

Spring has finally arrived! With Spring comes the annual City clean up. The city has issued notices that street cleaning would be starting on Sunday. It is now Friday, so everyone has had plenty of notice. The no parking signs went up on our street after supper last night. There was to be no parking on our street from 8 AM until 5PM today. This shouldn't be a problem. WRONG WRONG WRONG!

On the way to drop kids off at school this morning there was a car being towed. The driver failed to heed the no parking signs. I then had to walk to the bank. When I got back about an hour later, there were two more cars parked on our street. These cars were pretty much parked in front of the no parking signs. They had already been ticketed and the tow truck was there to move them. The tow truck driver had hooked one car up and was then knocking on doors to find the owner. When no one answered, he climbed into the truck and began honking. I thought he was being very generous giving that much notice that your car was being towed. Finally the owners come running out of their homes to retrieve their cars. Along with their tickets. While this is going on, another car pulls up. He parks between the two tow truck and takes his coffee and goes into a house. I wanted to ask him if his lobotomy had been performed recently. Some people are just too stupid to inhale oxygen. To those people, I offer this week's FUCK YOU! I hope you all have a great weekend. Now fuck off!

THE PROCRASTINATOR'S CREED

2007-04-19T12:45:00.000-07:00

The Procrastinator's Creed 1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesmally small, is not exactly zero.

8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.

12. I know that the work cycle is not plan-start-finish, but is wait-plan-plan.

13. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

14. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.

At least I finally filed my income tax.

ZZZZZZ...

2007-04-11T10:59:00.000-07:00

I am feeling really strange today. (I know I am usually strange, but this is different). The doctor gave me stronger meds to help me sleep. One tiny problem. They don't work. I take them at bedtime and they don't kick in til about 4:00am. Then the next day, I feel sleepy and I have the shakes. I can't think straight. Hell, I can't even type. You have no idea how long this took me to type. I think I will give up on the meds. That might mean I have to give up sleeping altogether though.

On the good news front, I have come to the conclusion that moving schools was the best thing for my girls. Yesterday when I picked them up, my daughter said her day was "wonderful"> When I asked her what was wonderful about it, she said nothing special it was just a good day. My other daughter said she had a good day too. Woo HOO! I heard through the grapevine that since my girls left the school, three more left too and one parent had it out with the gym teacher on the playground. About time someone put her in her place. I feel good about the choice we made to move. I hope it continues.

To the rest of you who are struggling with various troubles lately, my thoughts are with you all. Hang in there.

THE THINGS KIDS SAY

2007-04-09T10:42:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter!

Things were good here. Busy as usual. My favorite cousin and her girls came for Easter dinner. I always have a good time with her.

I was reading Al's blog about his conversation with the Rayman, between that post and spending time with my cousin I remembered a story my Aunt told me.

My Aunt was a teacher for many years. She is a very proper, church going lady. I don't think she has ever said a bad word, drank, or smoked in her life. One day a little boy came in from recess.. we will call him Billy.

Billy: Mrs. G, Tommy said a bad word.

Mrs. G: What did he say, Tommy?

Billy: He said "THE R WORD!!!"

Now keep in mind we are talking about a very proper woman here. She quickly ran down a list of all the bad words she could think of but could not come up the dreaded "R" word. Finally she had to give up.

Mrs. G: I am sorry Billy, I don't think I know the "R" word. You are going to have to tell me the word.

Are your ready for this?

Are you sure?

Have you gone through all the swear words you can think of?

Billy: He said "ARSE".

My poor Aunt didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

HAPPY EASTER!

2007-04-05T10:41:00.000-07:00

2007-04-03T07:57:00.000-07:00

Another day, Another meltdown courtesy of my daughter. I thought things were getting better. She seemed happier. I don't get " Don't make me go to school. Please Mom! Don't make me go". Silly me, I thought that meant things were turning around. It is all back with a vengance. We saw the Pychologist. She didn't see any problems with her. She told us she was a tomboy who had some issues with letter and number formaition. She said she would grown out of it all. Great $950 to be told exactly what we already knew. That was money well spent. If there are no problems, then why is she acting this way? What is setting her off like that? We have watched her diet, sleep patterns, friends, and everything else we can think of. There is no pattern to it. Not related to moon cycles, time of the month, or the tides. It is not related to the weather. I give up. I am sooo tired. I don't know if I can keep this up much more. It just beats you down. Sometimes I think she would be better off without me. She would be better with someone who can figure out, what the hell is going on. We have been to so many doctors. No one has any answers. Maybe it is just bad parenting. I just don't know anymore. The fight has gone out of me. I just can't do it anymore. Meds don't help. If they up my meds anymore, I will be comotose (hmmm maybe not a bad idea). I just can't go on anymore. The effort to put one foot in front of the other is just too much. I can't do it. Stick a fork in me. I am done.

2007-04-01T08:18:00.000-07:00

Two Trouble Makers

A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.

The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually.

So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.

The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.

So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!"

FUCK YOU ! FRIDAYS

2007-03-30T06:48:00.000-07:00

FU Friday winner.

It was a close contest this week people. Spring Break from school started out as a strong contender. The kids being home all week fighting and generally driving me crazy looked like they had a chokehold on being the champion this week. However, Computer troubles knocked the contender out. My stupid computer is so slow this week. I can type a sentence go get a cup of coffee and come back and my sentence is just appearing on the screen. AAARRRRGGGG!!!! I have tried numerous virus scans but nothing is coming up. I am ready to put my foot through it.

We also had a comback kid this week. Yes, our old friend Death made a surprise visit this week. My son's favoite teacher succumed to Cancer this week. This onderful lady taught my son in grade 2. His class was her last one before she retired. She was the consumate teacher right til the end. She passed away during Spring Break. I guess even in death she didn't want to disrupt the school year. Then my friend let me know that her Grandfather passed away this week too. The good news was she was able to see him before he passed away.

The next competetor is a new one here. It is a tag team consisting of my teenager and my school. They were out in full force this week. My teenager has spent an ungodly amount of time of the phone since he has gotten his first girlfriend. Don't get me wrong. I like her. She has spunk. (The last day of school before spring break, she was suspended for punching a kid in the nose. His crime? He kept calling her fat.) However when my son is talking to her, he refuses to answer any other incoming call. My school called to tell me they cancelled my class that was to start next week. By the time I realized there was a message and the importance of it, the office is closed until Monday. What do you think the chances are of me getting transferred into a class that isn't full on Monday considering the classes start again on MOnday. Can you say "Not impressed?" When I left a message for his Dad complaining about it, he called home to talk to me about it. The boy was on the phone (again). His Dad told him to hang up the phone. He meant get off the phone with his girlfriend. The boy thought he meant to hang up right away, so he did. He promptly hung up on his Dad. So I was royally pissed at the boy for not getting the message to me right away and I was ticked at the school for waiting til the last day to inform me that my class was cancelled. After all, I did register for it over 2 weeks ago.

The weather here was also in contention to be the winner. It was beautiful on Monday. It has gone downhill from there. It is -14C here today. It is supposed to be SPRING!!!! I had started to pack away the mitts and winter coats only to have to pull them out again. When will spring arrive?

However, this week's winner is a repeat champion from weeks past. It has made it's triumphant return in all it's stinky, messy, abundant glory. Yes folks, this week's FUCK YOU goes to ......

MY FAVORITE AND YOURS.... LAUNDRY!

Yes, after having a housefull of children surrounded by mud and teenagers, Laundry has taken over the basement and is climbing up the stairs as we speak. So to my laundry that multiplies in the dark I offer a huge FUCK YOU! Now Fuck off and have a good weekend. Don't forget to let us know if you played along.Fuck

Another Sad Day

2007-03-29T07:20:00.000-07:00

Zero to 200

A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.

"Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me."

So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

Services will be at Downing Funeral Home on Monday the 12th. Due to the condition of the body, this will be a closed casket service. Please send your donations to the "Think Before You Say Things To Your Wife Foundation," Dallas, Texas.

Wacky Wednesday

2007-03-28T15:49:00.000-07:00

I must confess I did not make this one up. I have seen it a few times in various emails. I felt like I needed a laugh today, so I thought I would share it with you all so you can get a much needed laugh too. Enjoy

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people the world over are asking! Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke but the questions were really asked.

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)

A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)

A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto -can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)

A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)

A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe... Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)

A: No, we don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, gay nightclubs

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)

A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent. They roam the city streets eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. Spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking will scare them off.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

DON'T MESS WITH MOMS

2007-03-27T07:24:00.000-07:00

Mother's Wedding Dress

A couple was getting married, and it was only three days before the wedding. The bride calls her mother with some bad news. "Mom," she says, "I just found out that my fiance's mother has bought the exact same dress as you to wear to the wedding."

The bride's mother thinks for a minute. "Don't worry," she tells her daughter. "I'll just go and buy another dress to wear to the ceremony."

"But mother," says the bride, "that dress cost a fortune. What will you do with it? It's such a waste not to use it."

"Who said I won't use it?" her mother asked. "I'll just wear it to the rehearsal dinner."

SAD NEWS

2007-03-27T06:42:00.000-07:00

What with all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry La Prise, the man who wrote the song "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at age 93.

The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in...

...and then the trouble started.

2007-03-22T07:17:00.001-07:00

Bathroom Philosophers

Some ordinary folks become great philosophers when they are sitting alone in the bathroom stalls of the world contemplating life's problems. Here are a few gems.

Make love, not war. Heck, do both, get married! - Women's restroom. Bozeman, Montana

I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards. - Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. - Written on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. - Revolution Books. New York, New York.

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress! - Men's restroom, House of Representatives. Washington, D.C.< P>

More Things I Have Learned

2007-03-20T06:37:00.000-07:00

I learned something new this weekend. Don't go to a Gun and Militia show if you are royally pissed at your spouse. You might come home with something you will regret. On the plus side, I don't think my neighbor will be complaining about me anymore.

Never piss off a woman with a gun.

Céad Míle Failte...A hundred thousand welcomes

2007-03-16T10:23:00.000-07:00

The Irish Claddagh Symbol is named for the Irish coastal town of Claddagh (pronounced "clah-dah"), where the ring design is attributed to an ancient local legend about a townsman kidnapped into slavery, who returns to present a ring to his true love. Claddagh rings are a traditional token of loyalty and friendship as well as romantic love. The Claddagh design usually appears on rings, but is now used on all sorts of items, from jewellry to napkins to family crests. The hands in the design represent friendship, the heart, love, and the crown, loyalty. Various traditions ascribe different meanings to the ring, depending on how it is worn- as a wedding ring, it is worn on the left hand, with the heart pointed inward. As an engagement ring, it is worn on the right hand, with the heart pointing inward; for friendship, it is worn on the right hand, heart turned outward.

I want one of these. Just to remind myself that I always have some true friends. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction