Well, here I am again. It looks like I won't be posting very much for the next little while. Things have gotten really out of hand here. To save time, I will just hit the highlights

Let's see, I have three papers to write for school. I have completed only one and I am starting to really panic about the other two. I don't have a clue how to even start them. I took my son to the doctor for his headaches and insomnia. He is now scheduled for a brain scan because the doctor can't find anything obviously wrong. No one has actually said the big "C" word, but it is in the back of my mind. I know I shouldn't borrow trouble, but he is my baby and I am worried sick. The doctor also informed me that I have signifigant hearing loss. I am waiting for a hearing test. We will have to wait and see where that leads to. At least now I have proof that I do not have selective hearing.

Since switching schools, my daughter has been much happier. The complete meltdowns she was having had completely disappeared. Until this week. She had one huge one. I am not even sure what brought it on. It just brings back all the horrible feelings of last year. I cannot survive that again. The positive part of it is, it isn't school related this time. I think I have narrowed it down to one boy I look after. He used to be her best friend. Now when he is around, he seems to push her over the edge. He doesn't do it intentionally, it just happens. And not every time either. Ahh the mysteries of the mind of a child.

I can't really put a finger on the one thing that is bothering me so much. It is just alot of little things that are piling up. I am back to feeling like I want to jump out of my skin. I am sitting still, but my insides are running a million miles an hour. I have gone from having insomnia, to sleeping all the time. That makes it a little difficult to get things done. I suppose that is a symptom of depression. I love the doctor's advice. Part of my stress is money worries. Right now, I can't afford the anti anxiety meds. Our insurance ran out, so I have to save the money to get the meds. The doctor wants me to see a therapist. So let me get this straight, I can't afford the meds, I am worried about money, but let's find enough money to spend $75 an hour to tell someone else that. That's practical.

If you have ever experienced depression you will understand. It sort of feels like you are drowning on dry land.

I will try to post something upbeat soon. But if I have disappeared for a little while, you know where I am..... the psych ward. Take care all.

Okay, parenting this day and age is getting harder and harder. When we were kids our main worries were bullies, strangers in cars, and pimples. Today there was a threat written on the bathroom wall of my son's school. It happened too late in the day for parents to be sent a letter. Instead they posted a letter on their webpage and notified the media.

I realize that the threat is probably not a real threat but still. The big question is do you send your kid to school or not. On one hand, I realize that the threat was more than likely made to get the kids out of class. On the other hand, what if...

On the one hand, if I keep him home from school, it will count toward his class absences. On the other hand, how much learning will actually occur?

The notice said all the doors will be locked and there will be a strong police prescence. Do I really want to send my son into that enviroment?

My little girl is terrified something will happen to her brother. No matter what I say, I can't convince her that he will be safe. I am comtemplating keeping him home just to reassure her.

What happened to the good old days. Where you had to worry about your kids smoking, or skipping classses and that was about it. You never had to worry they will get themselves killed.

FUCK YOU! FRIDAY (ONLY IT'S THURSDAY)

I wasn't sure if I would have time to make a post on friday, so instead of depriving you of a Friday post, I have made one early. Have a great weekend!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Here in the Great White North, it is Thanksgiving. Today I give thanks for all my friends and family. Including all my blogger friends.

HAPPY TURKEY DAY! May you all have something to be thankful for. Here, I will share some turkey with you.

SMILE OF THE DAY

Gotta love his honesty! Finally, a pool I can afford.

Now that you have smiled, have a great day!

One Smart Cookie

One day I hope to be as smart as this old lady

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on.

Finally he went to the check-out line, but she got in front of him. "Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who I haven't seen in a long time."

"That's a shame," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!'? It would make me feel so much better."

"Sure," answered the young man. So, when the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!"

As he stepped up to the check-out counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. "How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"

The clerk replied, "Your mother said that you would pay for her."

Rest in Peace

It has been one year since Giselle left us. I had wanted to get another tattoo in memory of her but I just couldn't swing it. I hope she is at peace. She has left this earth, but she will never leave our hearts.

REST IN PEACE MY FRIEND

Fuck you! Fridays

AAARRRGGGGG!!!

I thought this week would never end. It has been the week from hell. I already vented about Monday. Let me tell you. It didn't get better.

Come with me as we enter the week from hell. For starters, I am still recovering from my near death yesterday. The city is full of construction right now. Every major route in the city has some form of construction. It has made for a travelling nightmare. Yesterday I was travelling back from my Chiro appointment. It is on the other side of the city from me. ( I really should find something closer) I was toodling along in my lane. The lane WITHOUT the construction. When out of the blue, the car beside me thought it would be a good idea to take over my lane. That would be fine except I was beside him at the time. Not ahead, so I could see a signal that he wanted in. Not Behind where he could squeeze in. Nope right beside me. He figured that his lane ended so he should automatically get mine. Hello! Driving here! We were travelling around 80km at the time. When I realized what he was doing, I hit the brakes mighty quick. The car behind me must have seen what was happening because when I stopped, he was stopped a good two car lengths behind me. When we stopped, you could not have put a piece of paper between us. He starts flapping his arms at me. Hello! I was minding my own business in my own lane. Sheesh. It scared me so bad, my knees shook the rest of the way home.

Today was not a wonderful day either. I started my day off with my daughter yelling from her bed she needed help. She was so ill, she couldn't move. She had a major asthma attack on Tuesday. I thought it was better. I kept her home on Wednesday. This morning she came down with the flu. Oh joy. My other daughter is very shy. She did not want to take a taxi by herself to school. I was leary about sending her on the city bus alone too. I asked my husband to drop her off at school. He refused because he had to be at his parents for 7 to help them move. I thought they might understand but nope. My friend was deathly ill yesterday so I didn't want to ask her and my other friends were already at work. So I kept both girls home in the morning. I couldn't drive them because I was looking after too many kids to fit in the car. Since I was at home, I thought I would really clean my room. We have a wasp nest outside of our back door. Lately, they have been getting into my bedroom. I can't figure out how. My husband is deathly allergic to wasp stings so that could be a big problem. The cat was chasing one of these wasps and got tangled up in my curtains. My curtain rod is now in the shape of a U. I knew I had another one somewhere. I eventually found it. While I was at it, I thought it would be a good idea to wash the curtains. Then I thought about caulking around the window to stop the wasps. Except I also couldn't find the caulking gun. AAARrRRRgggg. I was able to borrow one. When I went to hang the new rod, the old hooks didn't fit the new rod. Then the drill was dead. It took me all day to do this little thing. I still haven't had time for a shower. Then I got a call from my friend's son. He was home sick and his mom was chaperoning a field trip. His other sister got sick and needed to be picked up from school. So I loaded my sick child and the three year old into the car and off we went. I just couldn't get anything done. While in the car I was complaining that my sunglasses were dirty. When I took them off to clean them, the lens fell out.

I was exhausted and grumpy at this point. I did not feel like cooking so I ordered a pizza. They told me to pick it up in 30 minutes. Yeah, try an hour. We sat there for 30 minutes waiting. At this point, my son announced that his cell phone had been cut off. I know the bill payment was made, because I dropped it off myself. However, knowing this company it didn't surprise me. They waited over a month to cash my last cheque. However, they didn't cut him off until 6. On a Friday. Yeah good luck getting that fixed anytime soon.

Just to top things off, just as I was pulling into home, the gas light on the car came on. Ooopppss. I kinda forgot all about putting gas in it. I am now officially calling this week over! Have a great weekend y'all.

NEVER MIND THE DOG

I DON'T LIKE MONDAYS

MONDAYS... need I say more?

I don't like Mondays but I hate being disorganized more. Today was a huge disorganized morning. I don't know where I left my mind. To start off, I forgot to write on the calendar that I had one of my extra kids, so I was still in bed when he arrived. Thank God I was awake. Then I went to make lunches and discovered that someone had eaten all the bread. Now I have to get my son to buy his lunch. Thank God he has money. I was going to go to the bank this morning. Then my husband was mad at me because I didn't have any cash to give him to buy smokes. Oh well, you should have asked yesterday when I was out. Then I asked him to take the big car.. affectionately known as "the tank" to work today. I have a chiro appointment on the other side of the city. I hate to drive at the best of times let alone when I have to go through miles of construction and leave my neighborhood. The construction I have to drive through was the scene of a fatal accident on Friday. One construction person was killed and the other one was seriously injured. Now I really panic going through it. To top it off I couldn't find the appointment card for my appointment. I can't remember if it is at 10 or 11. I hate being disorganized!

To continue with my forgetfulness, we then realized that it was garbage day. Nothing like starting your day out by chasing the garbage truck down the backlane in your underwear. It might not be so bad if I had fancy Batman Underoos like Mark, but I don't. At least it wasn't the underwear with the big hole in it.

Then I opened the door to get the paper to discover that my new Halloween broom is missing. It was really cool. It was black and neon orange and had a sign on it that said either " The Witch is in" or " The Witch is out". I love it. I hope it turns up.

I also realized that my children have dentist appointments today. Oh joy. I have an extra child I had forgotten about and didn't make extra arrangements for it. I have to scramble to fix that too.

Now instead of trying to fix all the stupid things I have done (or left undone) this morning, I am blogging. Bad blogger, bad blogger.

I will leave you with this thought for the day...

GRACE KELLY

Grace Kelly Video

Grace Kelly lyrics - Mika lyrics

Mika Music Videos

Music Video Codes by VideoCure

i want to talk to you

(the last time we talked mr smith you reduced me to tears i promise you it wont happen again)

do i attract you? do i repulse you with my queasy smile? am i too dirty? am i too flirty? do i like what you like? i could be wholesome i could be loathsome i guess im a little bit shy

why dont you like me? why dont you like me? without making me try?

I tried to be like grace kelly(mmm) but all her looks were to sad(uhhh) so i tried a little freddy(MMMM) ive gone identity mad!!

i could be brown i could be blue i could be violet sky i could be hurtful i could be purple i could be anything you like gotta be green gotta be mean gotta be everything more why dont you like me? why dont you like me? why dont you walk out the door?

(getting angry doesn't solve anything)

how can i help it? how can i help it? how can i help what you think?

hello my baby hello my baby

putting my life on the brink why dont you like me? why dont you like me? why dont you like yourself? should i bend over? should i look older? just to be put on the shelf?

i tried to be like grace kelly(mmm) but all her looks were to sad(uhh) [Grace Kelly lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

so i tried a little freddie(MMMM) iv gone identity mad!!

i could be brown i could be blue i could be violet sky i could hurtful i could be purple i could be anything you like gotta be green gotta be mean gotta be everything more

why don't you like me why don't you like me walk out the door!

say what you want to satisfy yourself hey! but you only want,what everybody else says you should want, you want.

i could be brown i could be blue i could be violet sky i could hurtful i could be purple i could be anything you like gotta be green gotta be mean gotta be everything more why don't you like me why don't you like me walk out the door

i could be brown i could be blue i could be violet sky i could hurtful i could be purple i could be anything you like gotta be green gotta be mean gotta be everything more why don't you like me why don't you like me walk out the door ooo000o0o0o0ooooahh humphrey we're leaving! kachinga!

I think the song pretty much says it all.

SEPTEMBER 11

SEPTEMBER 11

Need I say more? Please take a minute today and remember.

SIGH

I get so tired of this. I am sure you are tired of reading it too but here is another bitch.

I have been treasurer of the school Parent Council for two years now. I thought I was done. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. The Auditor wanted the books in June. We had lots of cheques we had to send out in June and it was a pain to get the books into her in June but we did it. She had the books all summer. She only started looking at them last week. So what the hell was the rush to get them in? Now this woman is making my life hell. She is nitpicking things and it is starting to piss me off. She forgets I am not an accountant. I don't have training. I don't get paid. I am a stupid volunteer. I did the best job I could. To call me up and give me hell because I didn't attach the reciepts the way you liked or I did it in pencil (cuz I make alot of mistakes. Remember, I am not an accountant), or I didn't give out reciepts to all the children who purchased penny candy from the canteen is getting a little overboard. Give me a break! If you want it done professionally, HIRE AN ACCOUNTANT! Then she wanted to know why I didn't include the June bank statement. Let's see. It could be because the statements are sent to the school and the school is closed in July and August. Then when I went to pick it up, the school had let a past president of the council take it. Never mind this person hasn't had a child in the school for two years and has no business taking it. Now I am on the hook for it. Plus she wanted to know why I didn't do a financial statement for June. Hello! You had my books. How was I supposed to do it? This woman is going to drive me to drink! More!

Then I have this parent I used to babysit for. In June she backed out on me for the summer with no notice. I should have charged her for it but I didn't. Then she called me and left me a message the week before school started telling me her sister in law VOLUNTEERED to take her boys so she wouldn't need me. Fine. But give me some notice. This did not just occur one morning. Today I got a call from a friend of mine. She wanted to know how much I would charge to take two kids before and after school and what I would charge for the full day. I told her my rates. They are the same for all my kids. Then she proceeded to tell me she was talking to the sister in law of this woman, and my friend was told that the mother pulled her kids from me because I was overcharging her. She said I was charging $50 per day for before and after school. Are you kidding me? I don't even charge half of that! I am so angry I could blow any second! This is the rumour now. Do you really think I will get any more kids if people think I charge that much? I am so angry at this woman. How could she tell such awful lies? What the hell did I ever do to her?

Some days it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the restraints. I am going to unplug the phone and go back to bed for a week!

Hope your week started out better!

LIFE OF A REDNECK

>> HI - Welcome to Manitoba

>> >> Thank you for visiting our beautiful province. >>

>> Here are a few things you ought to know to make your stay more pleasant: >>

>> 1. That slope-shouldered farm boy you are snickering at did more work >> before breakfast than you will do all week at the gym. >>

>> 2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're >> going to get dust on your BMW. I have a 4-wheel drive because I need it. >> Now drive or get it out of the way. >>

>> >> 3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine-years-old. Yeah, >> we saw Bambi die. We got over it. >>

>> >> 4. Any references to "grain fed" when talking about our women will get >> your butt kicked...by our women. >>

>> >> 5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around. You look like an idiot. >>

>> >> 6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their >> final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to >> your ear at the time. >> >>

>> 7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order >> it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds >> of ham and turkey. >>

>> >> 8. Yeah, we have sweetened ice tea. It comes sweetened, you don't need a >> glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon. >> >>

>> 9. You bring Coke into my house you should bring rye along, and ice. >>

>> 10. So you have a sixty-thousand-dollar car. We're real impressed. We >> have quarter-million-dollar combines that we use two weeks a year. >>

>> >> 11. Let's get this straight. We may have one stoplight in town, but we >> stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow. >> >>

>> 12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to. So, >> you're a feminist. Isn't that cute. >> >>

>> 13. Yeah, we eat trout, northern pike, walleye and perch, too. If you >> really want sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait shop. >> >>

>> 14. They are pigs and cows. That's what they smell like. Get over it. >> Don't like it? Highways #1 and #16 go two ways - get on one of them. The >> more people that leave, the better the hunting & fishing. >> >>

>> 15. So what if every person in every pick-up waves? It's called being >> friendly. Understand the concept? >> >>

>> 16. Yeah, we have golf courses, more per person than anywhere else on >> earth. Don't hit into the water hazards. It spooks the fish. And stay >> out of the woods, that spooks the deer. Please enjoy your stay. >>

Ahh the life of a Prairie Redneck. God Bless us all.Turns out, great minds think alike. Check out Lord of the Ididots for his perspective on the American Redneck.

SUMMER HOLIDAYS

Well my lovlies, it is finally my summer holidays. I have been on holidays for almost two weeks now. It hasn't felt like a holiday. My kids have had soo many kids sleep over and I have spent almost every waking hour at the skate park with the kids. So much for holidays away from taking care of children. Now it is time for my annual trip. I get a whole three days away from my family, home and life. Woo Hoo!

As my farewell gift to you, I will show you a boob picture.

Now that I got you excited, I will explain the story. When you spent time babysitting preadolescent boys, you get a whole new education. One day the boys asked if I would take them to the "Boob Park". After I spit my coffee out I asked them what they were talking about. The said they wanted me to take them to the "Boob Park " by 7-11. I knew what park they were asking about but I had no idea why they called it that. They informed me that the merry - go - round looked like a boob. I have been taking kids to this park for years. Until that day, I had never noticed. Damn if they weren't right.

So without further ado, I offer you ........ 'THE BOOB PARK'.

Thursday

He's My hero!

The Mysteries of the mind

I have been dreaming about her again. My nights have not been restful. In my dreams, I am trying to contact her. I am trying to reach her. I sense she is trouble. I am trying to get to her but I never do. I wonder if subconscoiusly I know the anniversary of her death is nearing. I didn't dream of her when she died. But she haunts my dreams now.

It isn't like it was the first time someone close to me passed on. Maybe it is because she was my first friend to pass on that haunts me so much. She was so young. So full of life. She had so much to accomplish. She didn't get a chance to adopt her baby.

It frustrates me that I cannot fix this. I can't bring her back. Instead she haunts my dreams. If only I could actually contact her in my dream. Then maybe the dreams will stop. Maybe they will stop after the anniversary of her death passes. Of course then it would have been her birthday. Two events so close together. I feel like I am losing my mind. Maybe she is trying to tell me something. Something I can't quite grasp. Who knows. Maybe she is telling me that I will be joining her soon. I wish I knew.

Shakespeare said.. " to sleep, perchance to dream" For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, /When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, /Must give us pause.

Maybe Shakespeare really understood. I wish I did.

FUCK YOU FRIDAY

It is that time of week again. I guess I disappointed a reader/fan last week because I had no post. Not to worry. I have a great big one this week.

Where to start?

Let's start with the computer itself. It crashed this week. Or at least I thought it crashed. I was so upset. I had not saved to disc any of the emails I had from my friend who had passed away. I was so upset to think that I had lost them. Fortunetly, I didn;t loose them. You can bet they are saved to disc now! Since it has been so hot and we don't have central air, we use window air conditioners. For whatever reason, this summer it seemed to sometimes overload the circuits and blow a fuse. It turns out that all of those blown fuses scrambled the computer because it was not shut down properly. All was saved. Whew

My holidays have started now. You would think that would make me happy. Nope. I hate sounding whiny, but here goes. I did not get paid. Two families owe me money and neither one paid me. Of course they are both on holidays now too. I can't reach them. They have left. Great. I was supposed to go away for a few days the last week in August. Not going to happen now. First off, I don't have the extra money since I didn't get paid. Plus in the mail this week, I recieved a number of unexpected bills. The kids registration for bowling is due that week plus student fees for the boy plus the boy talked too much on his cell phone so I have a huge bill. Yes he will pay for it, he is working to pay it off, but for now, I have to pay it. Then the bowling registration, timetable pickup and calling to arrange teacher meetings all take place the week I wanted to go away. Since their father will not do any of it, it looks like the vaction is off. I am not a happy camper.

There you have it , my Fuck You this week, is sent out to disappointment. Have a good weekend y'all. Happy Fuck you Friday.

I AM WANTED!! HOORAY!!!

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I stole this from Mackey. Now a days it is just nice to be wanted.