MERRY CHRISTMAS

Messing With Santa's Head

- Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy." Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa"

- Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."

- Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.

- While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.

- Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.

- Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.

- Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.

- Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.

- Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."