I KNEW I WAS A BAD INFLUENCE
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Friday, May 25, 2007
Good Morning to all. It has been a busy, yucky week. I have had a killer headache all week. I think it might have something to do with the fact that it was election time in the province. Nothing much changed. What a waste of my tax dollars. I think only two seats changed. I admit I was disappointed in the result. In my opinion, the NDP government is trying to close our local hospital. I believe we are down to two emergency room doctors. God help you if you need to go to the emerg. Who knows how long you have to wait while bleeding profusely from a vital organ. Our local representative has not said word one to protect our hospital. I could scream that no one has taken a stand about it. I was disappointed that our MLA was re elected by a landslide. I guess rotten health care doesn't bother the voter. AAARRRGGGG! When I was searching for a great picture for Fuck You Friday, I came across this gem. I think this is how older people will feel when our hospital is closed. In honor of Fuck you Friday, the league of pissed off old women and I, we offer our opinion of sub standard health care.(and no I am not in the picture) If you have a minute, please head on over to see my pal Canadian Sentinel. Wish his Dad a speedy recovery. They have both had a rough week. Now have a great weekend. To start you off right here is something you can comfort yourself with. At least you don't live here. It was fucking snowing here this morning. It is almost June. What happened to Global Warming?
Sunday, May 20, 2007
I got this one sent to me via email from a friend. I am sorry there was no picture to go along with it. SIGN IN A STORE WINDOW "WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1,000 AL-QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE CANADIAN"! This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Vancouver. You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement. One would think that anti-hate groups from all across the country would be marching on this business .... and that the RCMP might have to be called to keep the angry crowds back. But, perhaps in these stressful times one might be tempted to let the proprietors simply make their statement. We are a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty. And after all, it is just a sign. You may ask what kind of business would dare post such a sign? Answer: A Funeral Home (Who said morticians had no sense of humour?) You gotta love it!!! God Bless Canada!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
- In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? (And my feet are cold all year round) - Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers? (Like this question?) - Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men? (Simple, young men where their pants so low they hang around at their ankles. Old men would fall and break a hip if they did that) - Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened? (I wouldn't know. I am still too young. I am also still in deep denial) - If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the dumber sex? (This is obvious isn't it?) - Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just as needy throughout the rest of the year? (Why are we only generous at holiday time? What does Scrooge do the rest of the year?) - Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch,' but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bedridden for weeks? (This is why Women have babies and men don't) - How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes? (Simply put, I like my father in law) - Why do men forget everything and women remember everything? ( Like how to fill an ice cube tray) - Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American food? (What is Canadian food?) - Shouldn't all married men forget their mistakes? After all there's no sense in two people remembering the same things right? (Women remember their biggest mistake every time their husband makes another mistake.) - Is the real reason women live longer then men because they don't have to live with women? (The real reason is that all that dishwashing over the years has built up an amazing amount of defense against disease that would kill the a man) - If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to? (Well duh)
- Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it? (In my house it does) - Why is it that no matter what colour of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? (and when your done, the water is always black) - Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale? (The day I want to buy one)
- Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
(I live with a teenage boy. I am making sure there still is a fridge left)- Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance? (Gee, it isn't like Cheerios. Those you can just squish with your shoe to make them easier to vacuum) - How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures? (Better question? How do the they get out?) - Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not then what was the purpose of the bath? (See first explaination) - Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear? (That would reduce the amount of dirty laundry I would have) - When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say 'It's all right'? It isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?' ( You don't say it is all right when they run into you with a car. What is the difference with a cart. I had a woman run over my already broken toe with her cart once) - Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? (People actually try to catch the falling item? I am usually running for a towel to clean up either the blood or the liquid that will inevitably be spilt) - Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed? (They don't call us White Trash for nothing)
Friday, May 11, 2007
WARNING!!! BITCH SPASMS MAY OCCUR!!!! UH OH, HERE COMES ONE NOW!! I am so fricking miserable today. I am pissed at the world. No one in this house will lift a gd finger to help around here. I am so fed up. The kids are suppossed to do the dishes every night. I don't think they have done them in three weeks. Granted we are busy on baseball nights, and I will do them those nights but the rest of the nights there is no excuse. All I hear is " it's not my night" . I know I should be pushing them to do it anyway but I am so tired of nagging everyone to do things. We have those ridiculous European cabniets in the kitchen. I hate them. The screws always come loose and then the door falls off. Yesterday, the door fell off one of the higher ones. Being a vertically challenged person, putting the door back on by myself is difficult. I asked the adult male in this house to help me. He didn't have time before baseball and after was "too tired". I complained this morning and I was told it is not that hard, you can do it yourself. FUCK OFF! My daughters belong to this stupid girls club. It is a service group an aquantance of mine runs. I let the girls join as a favor to her. Had I known what I was getting into, I wouldn't have. It is costing me an arm and a leg. Every time I turn around, they need more money for something else. They are always fundraising. Last night I get a call, they have been volunteered to help with " Take Pride Winnipeg". Basically, I have to get up early Saturday drive them across the city so we can pick up garbage for two fucking hours, then drive them home. Just how I want to spend my Saturday. Plus as a bonus, we meet just after my favorite intersection. It is affectionately called " Confusion Corner". I hate driving at the best of times. I REALLY hate driving at that end of the city. Then my daughter has a ball practice on sunday at six. Yes we have a ball practice on Mother's Day. The adult male in the house is already complaining about it. Guess what that means? Yup, it will mean I get to take her to it. Oh joy. Not only do I get to nag my son to pack for the camp he leaves for on Monday at 8, cook, do the laundry, and clean, I now get to add ball practice to it. I really want to sit there on Mother's day and listen to one parent tell me that my daughter sucks at baseball and his wife tell all of us what patterns she likes to shave her body hair in. Oh yes, can you picture a better Mother's day. How lucky am I . Next bitch... My sister in laws birthday was last Saturday. I am the one who buys her present, wraps it, and drops it off at her house. Do I ever get a thank you? NOpe. Sometimes she will phone her brother at work and thank him for buying his sister a wonderful present. Then she will call her other sister and tell her all about the present HER BROTHER bought for her. Once, my other sister in law pointed out to her that it was me who does it. She argued with her. Whatever. Anyway, I get a little pissed off and really don't want to take the time to buy her presents anymore. This year she is running in the weekend to end Breast Cancer. A noble cause of course. However, I am getting calls and letters from her and her parents telling me to give her money for this. They even sent a letter to my parents asking for money. I don't have two nickels to rub together right now. Car insurance, mortagage, property taxes, fees for camp, and car payments are all this month. Sure I have extra money laying around. Anyway, for her birthday, I bought her a card and wrote her a cheque for her race. We didn't even get a thank you. Now I am really pissed. Next year, I am not even sending a card. If h er brother wants to remember her birthday, he can. I am not. Basically, I am stressed and grouchy. Then I read things that other people are going through and I feel so selfish. Please take some time and go see Melissa and give her your good thoughts. Her husband leaves on Saturday, and will miss the birth of their child. She has alot on her plate and could use your good wishes. I think my bitch spasms have ended for today. Thanks for tuning in. Have a great Fuck You! Friday and let us know if you played along.
Monday, May 07, 2007
It is election time here in Manitoba. In my opinion so far, it has been a quiet campaign. Judging by the election propaganda I have recieved, not even the candidates are interested in it. The election is now two weeks away. So far I have recieved flyers from two candidates and visits from no one. Today the Conservatives dropped a bombshell. If elected they will bring back the Winnipeg Jets. The Jets leaving Winnipeg is still an open sore here. We try to move on then something drags us back again. First it was the "Save the Jets" campaign, then the demolition of the old arena. While I would love to see the Jets back, I don't see it realistically happening. It was an interesting political move though. Especially when Hugh McFadden brought Thomas Steen (a former Jet and fan favorite) to his announcement. I am interested to see how this plays out. I will keep you updated. If you want, you can read the http://winnipegsun.com/News/ProvElection/2007/05/07/4160682.htmla>article
10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes. 9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off white. 8. Crying can be fun. 7. Fat clothes. 6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch. 5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience. 4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. 3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible. 2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes. 1. Other women!
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Greetings all. Today I have a little assignment for you. My friends over at Propagandhi, have issued a request. It is unusual, I will admit. Turns out the Winnipeg published "The Beaver Canada's History Magazine is running a contest. They are looking for nominations for The Worst Canadian in history. Now Propagandhi's Chris Hannah is looking for a nomination. Yes Chris wants to named Worst Canadian. Take a jump over to The Beaver and place your vote. ... and you thought the provincial election wasn't until May 22nd didn't you. Have a great day and let me know if you voted.