LIFE OF A REDNECK

>> HI - Welcome to Manitoba

>> >> Thank you for visiting our beautiful province. >>

>> Here are a few things you ought to know to make your stay more pleasant: >>

>> 1. That slope-shouldered farm boy you are snickering at did more work >> before breakfast than you will do all week at the gym. >>

>> 2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're >> going to get dust on your BMW. I have a 4-wheel drive because I need it. >> Now drive or get it out of the way. >>

>> >> 3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine-years-old. Yeah, >> we saw Bambi die. We got over it. >>

>> >> 4. Any references to "grain fed" when talking about our women will get >> your butt kicked...by our women. >>

>> >> 5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around. You look like an idiot. >>

>> >> 6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their >> final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to >> your ear at the time. >> >>

>> 7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order >> it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds >> of ham and turkey. >>

>> >> 8. Yeah, we have sweetened ice tea. It comes sweetened, you don't need a >> glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon. >> >>

>> 9. You bring Coke into my house you should bring rye along, and ice. >>

>> 10. So you have a sixty-thousand-dollar car. We're real impressed. We >> have quarter-million-dollar combines that we use two weeks a year. >>

>> >> 11. Let's get this straight. We may have one stoplight in town, but we >> stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow. >> >>

>> 12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to. So, >> you're a feminist. Isn't that cute. >> >>

>> 13. Yeah, we eat trout, northern pike, walleye and perch, too. If you >> really want sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait shop. >> >>

>> 14. They are pigs and cows. That's what they smell like. Get over it. >> Don't like it? Highways #1 and #16 go two ways - get on one of them. The >> more people that leave, the better the hunting & fishing. >> >>

>> 15. So what if every person in every pick-up waves? It's called being >> friendly. Understand the concept? >> >>

>> 16. Yeah, we have golf courses, more per person than anywhere else on >> earth. Don't hit into the water hazards. It spooks the fish. And stay >> out of the woods, that spooks the deer. Please enjoy your stay. >>

Ahh the life of a Prairie Redneck. God Bless us all.Turns out, great minds think alike. Check out Lord of the Ididots for his perspective on the American Redneck.