Some of the thoughts bouncing around in my head

I must be getting old. I am at that stage in my life when I am reexamining the choices I have made. I made some I would love to go back and change. Some are irreversible, some involve taking a chance, and some are just not to be no matter how hard you try to change things.

I had a visitor today. It was someone I hadn't seen in almost 28 years. The choices I have made in my life, took us down different paths. Yet when we were together, it all clicked. I remember reading a story once. The main character lived on a reserve. In this culture, it was assumed you would get together with a certain someone from your childhood. If you moved away from this, it was a big scandal. Especially if you brought back a stranger. When I first read it I thought it was a little strange to know that young that you will be together. How can someone know from the age of 5 or 6 what should be? I got a glimpse of that today. It is the novelty, history, happiness, sadness, and passion and comfort all rolled into one. I am conflicted. Happy but conflicted. I wish I could turn back time and make a different choice. This friend pointed it out to me that I could have chosen a differnt path, but I didn't. If I could turn back time, you can bet I would do things differently.

Looks like I am going to pay for making the wrong decisions. When will I learn?