What do you expect from such simple creatures?
- Your last name stays put.
- The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom
because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut
on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister,or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks..
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
6 comments:
Which way do you turn a bolt? I can never remember....... and I have no hips thank you very much!
Great post!
Ya know, GG, there's one very important thing you need to remember...
Be thankful you don't have your ovaries hanging between your legs, contained inside an ugly, wrinkly, hairy bag of skin...
Just imagine going thru life like that. And when playing sports, imagine worrying about the ball hitting you there... once hit there, you'll worry about that area being hit again... forever... trust me!
Sure, being a guy means you can whiz yer name into the snow, but, ya know, if I was a chick, I'd be more comfortable being nude in public, as, being a guy, I've got that aforementioned two nuts in an ugly bag, plus I've got to worry about the temperature dropping and suddenly shortchanging me...
Whereas you're streamlined and aerodynamic. I'm a Jeep with all the off-road attachments, whereas you're a beautiful Ferrari...
Trust me... you think men are happy... but you overestimate the happiness... we've got our complaints, too! Ever try to shave your own back, for example? Believe me, it's hard!
CS, I can honestly say I have never thought of it that way. Probably because most days I feel like a Ford Pinto.
Very funny stuff there. Glad i stopped in!
"I feel like a Ford Pinto."
...ya mean you blow up when someone rear ends you?
(did i say that?)
CS has a good point about trying to shave your back. The mitigating factor would be that if we *don't* shave our backs then nobody's going to carp that we're "letting ourselves go."
My only quibble is people thinking it's a breeze shaving your face.
Love everything else about the list.
figleaf
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