THE THINGS YOU LEARN FROM CHILDREN

You find out interesting things when you have sons, like

1) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3)A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 5)You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late. 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies. 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy. 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 12.) Super glue is forever. 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is. 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens. 20.) The fire department inAustin , TX has a 5-minute response time. 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids. 25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. I got this as an email. As I read through it, I realized that I knew alot of these things already. Hmm and people wonder why I drink. I would like to add a couple things too 1) Sparkle playdough looks pretty but when it is left on the carpet, it has become more permanent than your widowed mother in law moving in. 2) When iced tea crystals are spilled on the long and narrow kitchen floor, it looks like sand at the beach. This makes children want to turn the sprinkler on in the kitchen. 3) If a child is climbing furniture that is not anchored to the wall, pray it has doors that open when the furniture falls over preventing the child from becoming permantly squished into the carpet along with the playdough. 4) Macaroni and cheese spilled on carpet and covered with a pillow will also become permanent. 5)Using a broomstick to hold up your mattress to make a cool fort will poke a hole into your mattress. This makes it very uncomfortable to sleep on. (until you con your sister into switching mattresses) 6) A suitcase is Not a cat carrier. 7) If you are throwing a truck at your sibling in anger, make sure they are not standing in front of a window. 8) Snowballs may seem harmless, but they do break windows. 9) Easy Bake oven mixes do mold when left hidden under your bed. 10) Crawling into a corner and curling up in a ball and repeating "I love my children", does NOT make it all better. I would love to hear some of the things you have learned about children too.