You know I hurt myself again. I get no help from anyone. My husband is mad because of the money we were spending on Physio and medication. He is angry that I couldn't do everything. He is mad because I needed crutches and I needed a brace for my knee. He is mad because when I fell again, I didn't hurt myself more. He says if I hurt myself more, maybe I could have gotten surgery then gotten it all over with. He was attentive to me when we had to spend the weekend with his family, but as soon as we got home things changed. I asked him to drive me to drop off tickets for the team for the ball game. He told me since I can walk, I can drive myself. Then he got mad at me because I tried to walk to the bank and couldn't do it. He kept making comments about how I couldn't even walk right. I am too tired to fight anymore. Tuesday, my daughter's baseball team was to go to the Goldeyes game. Her team got to go onto the field with the Goldeyes. She got her hat signed by a player and got to stand with the team for the national anthem. What should have been the happiest night of her life did not end happy. As we were leaving there was a group of twentysomethings ahead of us. They were pushing each other and goofing around. One of them, hit my daughter. He looked and laughed. Now my daughter is in tears and my husband is furious. He pushed the guy and told him to appologize to my daughter. He refused and asked my husband what his problem was. M told him exactly what the problem was and what he had done to our daughter. The guy still refused to appologize. M pushed him again. Then his friends got into it. They started yelling at my husband and now my other daughter is terrified. She is screaming and the other one is crying and they still won't say he is sorry. Finally I got M to walk away. What a way to ruin an evening. The girls couldn't sleep that night and now my daughter has a bruise and a scrape on her chest where she was hit. I should have called the cops and had him charged. Now my anxiety is through the roof. I should have done more to protect my child. I just can't do anything right. I give up.
Fade to black.
I feel like I am all alone in the world. I didn't think I was a terrible person, but apparently I am. My neighbor sure didn't like me. I was outside with my husband, we were doing the same thing the neighbor was. Trying to fight off a huge infestation of wasps. My husband said "Look, C is outside trying to do the same thing we are" I was standing beside my husband at the time. I said "It is the new form of entertainment in the neighborhood" C looked over and said " Hi, M how are you doing?" He never once acknowledged me.What the fuck did I ever do to him. I know his wife hated me. Remember when she came over to complain because my kids were fighting on the lawn? Plus, she would never speak to me. We saw her at a local restaurant on Wed. She just walked right past us. When I went up to pay, she was right beside us. She turned and walked away.
My husband has no use for me, the neighbors hate me, my cat doesn't even like me. My so called best friend will never go out of his way to help me. He swore he would be there if I ever needed him but guess what. He wasn't. When I went to hospital, I asked him to come. He refused. He always had an excuse why he could never be there if I needed him.
I felt so beat up. I just can't fight anymore. Worse yet, I don't think I care to. I think I will just let it all fade to black.
Take care all....
8 comments:
Hey, wait, don't go away. Talk it out more. I(we) heard your side of the stories and there is generally another side. I am playing the devil's advocate now so don't get offended. Why is your husband being hateful? Is it because he is frustrated, maybe with good cause? Why are your neighbours cool towards you, are you a bitch about things? Are you totally blamless?
So if you can honestly say you are the true victim with all this, then your husband is a jerk, and your neighbours are assholes.
Is that right?
I have no idea what my neighbor's problem is. I can't be a bitch to them because I rarely see them.
I never claimed to be innocent in all this. If you read carefully, you will see that I am confused why people feel the way they do, but I never said I am blameless either.
I'm sorry for all the problems that you are having. I know it's hard. I've been there and done that. It will get better. You just have to believe that it will. You have to have faith in yourself. You have to know that you are strong enough to get through it.
Thanks Tequila Girl.
GutterGirl:
I don't want to belabour the point but you comment "..but I never said I am blameless either."
So do you consider yourself blamless or not? If you are not blameless, they you must know what sort of blame you can acknowledge.
Hey lets not lose heart... I wore a red golf shirt on friday...
its not my color but I thought that this is a good message.
Your knee is sore... through no fault of your own... In Alberta we would try to work the smaller town surgeons to see if we could move up the list... I would write a personal letter to each qualified surgeon in the province..
your milk escapade reminded me ... of the day the washer was overflowing in the apartment and I went running in to fix it --not thinking of the soapy water on the floor... everyone laughed but not me...
I feel for ya.. I hope a smile comes your way
Guttergirl, you're not alone. I've always had similar issues with all my family members at one time or another. Fact is that sometimes everybody's a big giant poophead.
As for your neighbors, I wouldn't give 'em another thought. Maybe they're just loners or something. I could care less what they think of me or whether they like me. Besides, maybe they're moonbats or connected to the Liebrano mob, in which case it sure as hell doesn't matter to me what they think of me. So fuck them, eh?
And believe me, I've been through worse stuff than that which you've described in this post. And guess what? I survived, became stronger, figured out how to deal with family members who're stupider than I, stoically advised them of what's what, they backed off and now we get along fine. Don't be submissive to stupidity. Stand up for yourself. Can't guarantee that'll happen with everyone, but I made it happen in my case. Today my family and I don't fight anymore (except about politics!)
The situation at the ballgame? Damn. That totally sucks. But it's over, right? And everyone knows what the asshole who hit your daughter looks like, so if he approaches again, y'all'll be good and ready!
Although I don't really know you, I don't believe for a second that you're a terrible person. Not at all. I think that that self-labelling stems from putting too much stock in what others think about you. You see, the "others", they're probably stupider than you, which means that they don't understand what's what about you and therefore are in no position to judge you. They're just fullashit, got that? Trust me; you're all right!
Next time you feel that, due to the way others are acting, perhaps over a period of time, towards you, just ask yourself: "What, if anything, did I do wrong?" If the answer is "nothing", and no one says you did anything wrong or isn't rational in their accusations, then nothing is your fault; it's the others who are being poopheads, having a big brain fart day, week, month... perhaps because they're stupid and miserable themselves and want to make YOU feel that way, too, as misery loves company, as the saying goes...
Look, before you know it, the terrible stink will dissipate and it'll be safe to go into the powder room...
You were having a "down" moment. I have 'em all the time, but always remember that it's all in the head. And tomorrow or the next day may well be an "up" day...
Come on, you gotta keep up with the blogging thing... it's good for us all, after all... besides, we've all got to come together and fight the forces of leftism and Islamofascism... remember how good it felt to tell Ahmadinejad to go fuck himself right there on his sissy-boy blog?
Looking forward to your next post... ;-)
Oh, and as for your cat? Well, that's how cats are. Cats just love themselves. (So much so that they just gotta lick every spot on their body... now THAT'S narcississm) Besides, you've heard about cat owners who died and were then eaten by their cats... so I wouldn't worry too much about what cats think about me... (cats don't care what WE think anyway, right?)
My brother's cat... used to be the nicest pussycat I've ever met, but eventually he just changed (the cat, not my brother)... nothing to do with me.
People can be like that. And we needn't assume it's somehow some fault of ours. It's them, not us, quite often.
Besides, my brother's cat drinks from the toilet, so why should I worry too much about what the little furball thinks? Drinking from the crapper, fofecksake, and the bugger expects me to take 'im seriously? Heh...
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