Everyone needs a laugh.

Old Rooster... A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old timer, time for you to retire."

The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these hens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it! You are washed up and I am taking over.."

.The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop."

The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start."

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters go running by.

He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits.

The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Damn.....third gay rooster I bought this month."

Moral of this story? .. 1) You don't get old being a fool! 2 ) Age, skill, and treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance! 3) Don't mess with us OLD TIMERS !

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said...no. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever...and he said no. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said... You're not pretty you're beautiful. I don't want to be with you forever, I NEED to be with you forever. And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...

I want someone to say that about me someday. They say hope springs eternal.

Farewell my friend.

Yesterday afternoon a good friend of mine passed away. She was my husband's cousin's wife (follow that?). She was by far my favorite of all his relatives. We shared the same sense of warped humor. She was struck down by cancer at the age of 36. I can't tell you how much I am going to miss her. She always kept her sense of humor.

When we last saw her, she kept us laughing even when we discussed her funeral and death. She had such a love of life. The world seems a little darker today without her.I feel like there is a hole in my heart that nothing will fill.

Farewell my friend. Rest in peace. You are free from pain now butI will miss you. May your light never be extinguished.

I have a huge bottle of Bailey's that is calling my name. I think we will be good friends today.

FUCK YOU FRIDAYS!

THE LAW IS THE LAW I hope this makes its way around CANADA several times over!!!

So if the CANADIAN government determines that it is against the law for the words "under God" to be on our money, then, so be it. And if that same government decides that the "Ten Commandments" are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it. And since they already have prohibited any prayer in the schools, on which they deem their authority, then so be it. I say, "so be it," because I would like to be a law abiding Canadian citizen I say, "so be it," because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions. I would like to think that those people have the Canadian Public's best interests at heart.

BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I'D LIKE?

Since we can't pray to God, can't Trust in God and cannot post His Commandments in Government buildings, I don't believe the Government and its employees should participate in the Easter and Christmas.... celebrations which honor the God that our government is eliminating from many facets of Canadian life. I'd like my mail delivered on Christmas, Good Friday, Thanksgiving & Easter. After all, it's just another day. I'd like our Government to be in session on Christmas, Good Friday,Thanksgiving & Easter as well as Sundays. After all, it's just another day. I'd like ALL Representatives to not have to worry about getting home for the "Christmas Break." After all, it's just another day. I'm thinking that a lot of my taxpayer dollars could be saved, if all government offices & services would work on Christmas, Good Friday & Easter. It shouldn't cost any overtime since those would be just like any other day of the week to a government that is trying to be "politically correct."

In fact.... I think that our government should work on Sundays (initially set aside for worshipping God...) because, after all, our government says that it should be just another day....

What do you all think????

If this idea gets to enough people, maybe our elected officials will stop giving in to the minority opinions and begin, once again, to represent the majority" of ALL of the people. SO BE IT...........

PASS THIS ON... HELP RETURN SANITY TO CANADA!!

I got this little gem from my Mother in Law. I can understand the frustration behind it but I am afraid that is will be the start of a slippery slope. My son informed me yesterday that in school they no longer use BC and AD. It is politically incorrect. So now they use BCE( Before Common Era) and CE (Common Era). Even his teacher thought it was getting a little out of hand.

So in honor of political correctness gone mad I offer a huge FUCK YOU! As an added bonus, Blogger won't let me upload a picture so FUCK YOU! to blogger too.

Have a great weekend

HNT AND OTHER STUFF

HAPPY HNT!

This is my tattoo. It has a meaning to me. I designed it myself. When I wanted a tattoo, I wanted something that would mean something to me. Something that I wouldn't regret. Butterflies and hearts have been done to death. I wanted something original. The shamrock represents my Mom's Irish heritage. The wheat represents my Dad's family's agricultural background. The initals inside the shamrock are my children's names. The tattoo is over my heart because these are the things that make up who I am. I want at least two more tattoos but I need the money first. I will let you know when I get them. Have a happy HNT!

I was asked to pass on this information to you my faithful readers. If you live anywhere near Parliment Hill in Ottawa please make plans to attend a rally at noon. There is a rally planned to show your support for our brave Forces and their families. If you can attend,please do and remember to wear red. I wish I was closer so I could attend. Thanks. You can read more about it >here

I had a post yesterday but Blogger ate it. It was brilliant. It was pure genius. It was the most amazing thing to read. It was literary paradise. Too bad the world will never see it. I knew I should have saved it first. Oh well. I will try to recreate it, but don't hold your breath. If you believe all that bull, (except for the part about Blogger eating it) I have a bridge to sell you. Have a good day

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

IT HAS ME PEGGED!

You Are Kermit

Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know. You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems. Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green. Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!

The Muppet Personality Test

WHY MOTHER'S AGE QUICKLY

I am sitting here watching a little boy ride his bike back and forth in front of my house. This little boy has had a crush on my daughter for three years now. He is the 'bad boy' of their class. The girls came home and told me that this boy wants to kiss my daughter. He also told her he loves her this week. Now he is cruising the sidewalk outside.

My son used to kid me that if I let him get an air gun he would sit outside and keep the boys away from his sisters. I USED TO think this was funny. Now I am counting my dimes to see if I have enough money to buy him one.

These kids are only nine. God help me. What am I going to do when they are sixteen? This is one reason why Mother's age quickly.

SAVING GRACE

Saving Grace Video - Tom Petty lyrics

Tom Petty Music Video Codes

Music Video Codes by VideoCure.com

I love Tom Petty. I just wish he would bring his tour here. His tour is one I would actually wait in line overnight for.

Fuck you ! Fridays

I have a few things I want to vent about.

• digital cameras with dead batteries
• digital camera chargers lost by children
• not being able to exercise due to bum knee
• gaining weight due to lack of proper exercise (see knee)
• eating too much due to depression caused by inability to do proper exercise
• long waiting list to fix knees ( I know I did that one last week. I am still pissed)
• gaining more weight because of overeating caused by depression due to injured knee
• being stuck in a vicious circle
• bills, bills, and more bills

To all those annoying things I send a giant FUCK YOU!

There I feel a little better now.

Have a good weekend !

Happy HNT!

The batteries in my camera are dead and I can't find the charger. Sorry gang. You just have to suffer through a rerun. Happy HNT!

FANTASY VS REALITY

This is what I would like. Our big car is a piece of junk. It will never start for me. So after alot of thought, I have decided that I want a pink Vespa like this one.

The reality of it is that I am scared I will look like this....

It has been pointed out to me that I cannot walk without injuring myself. If I get a scooter I might end up killing myself on it. Hey, you only go around once right. Anyway if I really hurt myself, maybe I can get a pink wheelchair. You always have to find that silver lining.

IN HONOR OF BACK TO SCHOOL, HERE IS YOUR HOMEWORK

I AM GOING TO LEAVE THIS AT THE TOP FOR A LITTLE WHILE. THERE IS NEW STUFF BELOW.

Today's post is brought to you by the letter H and the number 4. As in, H for homework and 4 for the number of days left until my kids go back to school. Here is your assignment. I have been thinking about inspiring saying lately. You know, those imortal words you pull out from time to time to get you through whatever it is you are stuck in the middle of. I will share my favorites with you. In return, I would like to hear yours. You can give me one or two or a dozen if you have them. I would really like to hear from you on this one. Okay, here are my favorites in no particular order.

• I killed Cupid in self defense
• Happiness is a warm gun and a cold body
• If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning
• I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
• Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
• . I used to have a handle on life, but it broke
• Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
• You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
• Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
• I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing. ( This makes me think of Mark)
• God must love stupid people; He made so many.
• The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
• Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
• Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
• The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
• Blessed are the cracked: for it is they who let in the light
• A good friend will bail you out of jail. A true friend will be sitting beside you saying" Damn that was fun" ( This reminds me of my Grandma)
• I have PMS and ESP. That makes me a bitch who knows everything.
• Life is hard. After all, it kills you. (Katherine Hepburn)
• If you always do what interests you at least one person is pleased. ( Katherine Hepburn)
• You say I am a bitch like it is a bad thing. ( I have that one on a tshirt)
• Lord if I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat. (So far, I haven't had alot of luck in that department. I need different friends)
• What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. (This has been my mantra many times)

Now you get the idea. They can be funny, articulate, uplifitng, or just plain stupid. It is your call.

uh oh.

Do you know how depressing it is to figure out you are worth more dead than alive? Boy, if my surgery goes wrong, my family hits the jackpot. Right now that might not be a bad thing. I have managed to dig myself into a big finacial hole. I am not sure how I did it. I guess it takes talent. I don't have enough money to make my mortgage payment this week. I thought I had it all planned out. You know how that goes though. All those expenses you weren't expecting. The $200.00 for my daughter's meds didn't help. Plus one of my parents only paid me half of what she owed me. Now I am screwed. I have written alot of cheques that are going to be bouncing around town like runaway rubber balls. I have never missed a mortgage payment and I am scared shitless. Then I stay awake at night trying to figure a way out of this mess. This sends my anxiety level through the roof. This means I need more anxiety meds to help me sleep. I don't have the money for that. So I worry more. Which means I need more meds that I can't afford so I worry more. And so it goes round and round. I know no one can help me out of this, but I am hoping that getting it off my chest will help. Thanks for listening.

THE WORLD REMEMBERS

On this important memorial day, please take a moment to remember the families that have lost loved ones 5 years ago. Please take a moment to remember the soldiers and their families that are making sacrifies today to help prevent it from happening again.

Check out THIS and her link to a heartbreaking video. It is sad, but an important video for people to see.

In memorial of all the victims and their families of Sept 11 2001. Rest in Peace.

If that link doesn't work, try this one http://www.gunstuff.com/america-attacked.html

FUCK YOU FRIDAYS!

Oh what a wonderful medical system we have. You cannot tell me we do not have a two tiered medical system. My visit to the surgeon did not go as well as I had hoped. He is sending me for an MRI. Wait time for that is 3 months. Then I will go for surgery. Here is the kicker. Wait time for that is NINE MONTHS!!!! This means before my knee is fixed, I will have suffered for over a year. I waited three months to see this guy already. He told me other than wearing my brace and taking meds, there is not much he can do for me until I have surgery. For that news I only have one word......FUCK!!!!!

Here is where the two tiered system comes into play. Our Mayor ( who I do like) tore his meniscus running the Manitoba Marathon in June. He has already had surgery. I have to wait a year??!!?? Don't tell me we do not have a tiered system because we do. If I had the money I would be hauling my ass down to the states and having it done there. My friend's Mother In Law had her knee replaced. Wait time for her? TWELVE DAYS. Mine is TWELVE MONTHS for a repair. AAAARRRGGGG!!!!!

I hope you all have a good weekend.

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!

HNT PICTURE IS BELOW Does anyone else remember the Staples commerical. The one with the father dancing down the aisles of Staples while he does back to school shopping. All the while the Xmas carol is playing. I love that commercial. I missed it this year. Today is the first day back at school. Hooray!!! I survived another summer. I am looking forward to the routines again. In the summer I feel so disorganized because there is no order and routine. The begining of the school year feels more like a new begining to me than Jan. 1st. As I look over the past year, I cannot believe how much my life has changed. I am looking forward to new challenges. My school starts in a couple of weeks. So does Parent Council, bowling, swimming, etc. I love this time of year. It is filled with so much hope. I am hoping the worst of it all is over now. Murphy's law has struck again. I finally get in to see the surgeon today. I have waited for three months to see him. Of course in the past week my knee has felt better. I have started to wean myself off the meds. I hope the doctor will still go through with the surgery. I guess I will have to wait a little longer. I will keep you posted. Have a wonderful day

Happy HNT!

SERENITY AND CALMNESS

Subject: Calmness in our lives I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started and never finished." So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Jim Beam, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Absolute, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel. Please pass this on to those you feel might be in need of inner peace

IT WAS NEVER LIKE THIS WHEN I WENT TO SCHOOL

WARNING--POLITICALLY INCORRECT

I got this picture in an email. I know it is politically incorrect and probably a little racist too, but I thought it was funny. If you find it wrong I appologize. If you find it funny... enjoy